I am fed up with nerdy sociopaths, the clinically shy and the mathematically gifted self-diagnosing as being on the spectrum. Autism is serious and if you can cope independently in society you haven't got it. And as for Asperger's, we really should stop using terms and diseases that were redefined out what, over ten years ago now?
"If you can cope independently in society you haven't got it" - I'm really not sure this is true. I work with someone with autism and have worked with other autistic people in the past. They have all been a little odd - keep eye contact with you for too long, random outbursts of swearing, that sort of thing - but all have managed to hold down a job (particularly coding) and functioned independently. I accept all cases are different, but most that I have encountered manage perfectly well.
It is confusing because they have changed the definition of autism to encompass the whole spectrum of conditions including Asperger's. It is not too long ago that autistic meant a severe handicap. It is further complicated, as you note, by the tendency of tech nerds to self-diagnose, which became fashionable after Bill Gates and now again after Elon Musk.
But Cookie and Leon are right - I have taught a lot of kids with autism and many grow to be able to mask it very well such that by 18 you wouldn’t know unless you had a particular sort of conversation one on one.
Otoh I have previously been a governor of a special school for autism and the other end of the spectrum (non-verbal, often insomniac) can make it almost impossible to function in society.
When The A-Word came out I remember of the many phone-ins about it one mother sad that such programmes drove her mad. In The A-Word the child was quite non-verbal but a common portrayal of autism is as a savant who can play Grieg's Piano Concerto having heard it once on Morecambe and Wise. The mother said that this was frustrating as the reality can be a child screaming uncontrollably for most of the day and there being no communication at all.
Absolutely. I vividly recall sitting in a governors meeting where a parent governor described her nights. Her son got an hour’s sleep at best, and she and her partner essentially had to tag team every night to look after him. To this day I cannot comprehend the love and sacrifice involved in raising a kid in those circumstances.
I am fed up with nerdy sociopaths, the clinically shy and the mathematically gifted self-diagnosing as being on the spectrum. Autism is serious and if you can cope independently in society you haven't got it. And as for Asperger's, we really should stop using terms and diseases that were redefined out what, over ten years ago now?
"If you can cope independently in society you haven't got it" - I'm really not sure this is true. I work with someone with autism and have worked with other autistic people in the past. They have all been a little odd - keep eye contact with you for too long, random outbursts of swearing, that sort of thing - but all have managed to hold down a job (particularly coding) and functioned independently. I accept all cases are different, but most that I have encountered manage perfectly well.
It is confusing because they have changed the definition of autism to encompass the whole spectrum of conditions including Asperger's. It is not too long ago that autistic meant a severe handicap. It is further complicated, as you note, by the tendency of tech nerds to self-diagnose, which became fashionable after Bill Gates and now again after Elon Musk.
But Cookie and Leon are right - I have taught a lot of kids with autism and many grow to be able to mask it very well such that by 18 you wouldn’t know unless you had a particular sort of conversation one on one.
Otoh I have previously been a governor of a special school for autism and the other end of the spectrum (non-verbal, often insomniac) can make it almost impossible to function in society.
When The A-Word came out I remember of the many phone-ins about it one mother sad that such programmes drove her mad. In The A-Word the child was quite non-verbal but a common portrayal of autism is as a savant who can play Grieg's Piano Concerto having heard it once on Morecambe and Wise. The mother said that this was frustrating as the reality can be a child screaming uncontrollably for most of the day and there being no communication at all.
Absolutely. I vividly recall sitting in a governors meeting where a parent governor described her nights. Her son got an hour’s sleep at best, and she and her partner essentially had to tag team every night to look after him. To this day I cannot comprehend the love and sacrifice involved in raising a kid in those circumstances.
What kind of cancer kills you in five weeks, from initial diagnosis???
Fuckin ell
Anything (ie any cancer) you haven't noticed.
And Pancreatic is one of those that give very little notice. Hence the 7% 5 year survivability rate
Pancreatic cancer survivabi thatlity rates haven't changed in 50 years. We have made huge strides in many other cancers but not that one.
We are burying my mother next week. She had pancreatic cancer and died 8 days after diagnosis. Another friend's dad also had it and he died 12 days from diagnosis,
Unfortunately, it is very aggressive and doesn't have clear symptoms. My mother was previously in hospital in October and they rechecked the old scan and that was clear.
8 days. My God
I suppose the only good thing is that she didn't suffer for a prolonged period of time. And I'm pleased that we were there at the end.
My sympathies
My Dad died about 3 weeks back and, in retrospect - tho it sounds daft - he was very lucky. 88 years old, a long rich vivid life, he got stage 3 lung cancer which have him 9 months to say goodbye etc. And it was largely pain free and he died lucid and at home, if you gotta go that’s about as good as it gets, unless you want to drive off a cliff in a stolen Ferrari etc
Sorry to hear that Leon. It must still be very painful. In my case, the irony is my Dad's mother is still going pretty strong at 101. I thought Nan would go before having to worry about my parents (mid 70s)
It is actually much less painful than I feared
Breaking up with my lovely young wife in 2020, when we still loved each other, but she wanted kids so yada yada, was far far worse than losing my dad. The break up felt wrong to the point of wickedness and it drove me close to suicidality and grief and loneliness, but my Dad? Maybe the break up hardened me or maybe the death of a man of 88 after a good long rollicking life just isn’t that sad
Occasionally I miss him. I find myself thinking Ooh, I’ll tell Dad that - then I remember he’s gone. And I feel maudlin. But only for a minute or two. It certainly isn’t agonizing grief
My sister lost a child aged 5. Drowned
If you want to see unbearable, intolerable grief: that is it. Just indescribable. If either of my kids died…. God knows
It’s only now, 30 years later, that she is beginning to talk about that death, and what it did to her. Three decades. Finally she can sort of open up, a little
I lost my partner to cancer in my thirties, a long, sorry saga drawn out over three years with ups and downs and a whole stack of ‘last holidays’. And the long, sorry end in the hospice (who were brilliant) where you effectively die, in terms of being able to sense or communicate, well before your body finally gives up.
And I lost a close friend to instant death, cycling through London near Exmouth Market, a witness saw him wobble on his bike and fall off; when the ambulance arrived he was gone already. Just entering retirement and pretty fit - cycled everywhere and played tennis every weekend, but was a smoker and drinker. But no previous medical history at all.
Despite the shock to friends and family of the latter, I’d choose that every time compared to the former.
Deepest Sympathies. I’ve had experience of both and yes, like you, the latter seems far preferable
Losing a partner in your 30s is especially cruel. RIP
A learning point, which I’ve been able to share with a few others facing the same, is to forget the bucket list.
The bucket list works fine when you’re not facing the bucket, but when the bucket is right there, not so much.
Those things we did and places we went, chosen as special things to do before you die, all we could think about was the finality of it all, and the imminence of death. So doing those things was no fun at all.
The best days were ordinary holiday days, messing around in a swimming pool or cooking a meal together, when by the end of the day we realised we’d hardly thought about death at all.
Good advice for anyone with someone terminally ill is to forget bucket list ‘special’ things and just try to capture some ordinary shared time when you can forget the bigger picture.
I have a cousin with aggressive breast cancer diagnosed aged 42, which had spread at presentation. With that sort of story life is measured in months, possibly a year or two. At the time she had two daughters, with the oldest aged 12.
The temptation would be to do a bucket list, but what she did was absolutely impressive. She decided to live exactly the same life (around hospital visits), taking her girls to school sports matches, organising family parties on the IoW, and knitting large marine creatures out of wool*, all the usual things etc. I think it shows a life well lived that when faced by the grim reaper to carry on with life exactly the same.
She has been on chemo or immunotherapy for 9 years, but sadly in the last 6 months has become resistant and the end looks in sight. I am very glad that she has had those nine years with her girls.
* OK, it is a strange hobby. I have a large knitted nautilus as a sofa cushion, her daughter has a giant squid, the other a blue whale etc.
I’m supposed to be in Istanbul next week, hope it doesn’t all kick off while I’m there!
Does anyone have recommendations for places to see, apart from the hallowed ground where Steven Gerrard lifted the European Cup 18(!) years ago?
Would need the Mrs to provide a list but the Basilica Cistern , Galatea tower and Chora are worth a visit.
I would add St. Stephen Bulgarian Iron Church and I preferred the Blue Mosque to Hagia Sophia, even though the former was half covered up for repairs. Does anyone know if they are complete? The Topkapi is almost indispensable as well.
Well some beautiful posts here about death disease and loss. They've been unusually absent from my (quite long) life thus far - so they're probably coming soon and in a bunch.
I’m sat in the food court at Pinderfields hospital, in Wakefield. My mum’s in the ward with her husband, who’s got sepsis. Apparently there’s a cluster of infection round his liver.
I knew he was ill but I didn’t expect him to look as bad as he did when we arrived. Think my mum was shocked too. Then the doc came in and had the DNR conversation.
Didn’t expect that.
Think he’s a gonner, they’re pumping antibiotics into him but they’re not doing anything. Very low blood pressure preventing some kind of treatment.
O/T, last two polls for the Democrat nomination have had RFK up to 19-21%.
He obviously won't win but that's a large progress from the 10-14% of a few weeks ago. While he's anti-vax, he is also anti-corporate establishment (see the argument breaking out at the moment over an American Prospect article saying Tucker Carlson had some good ideas).
I think Joe needs some of his diehard supporters on here who claim he's the most underrated President to get his numbers up...
As someone who thinks Biden an underrated president, I mean exactly what I say. Being a highly effective president who is not always rated accordingly doesn't necessarily mean he will be re elected, although he is a seasoned campaigner. You literally cannot underrate Johnson and Trump as leaders, but they still won their elections.
Off topic, but I know there are a football and tech fans on here. Arsenal are going fully digital next season. You will only get in with a smartphone and a digital pass.
I experienced this at Wimbledon last year and I missed quite a bit of one match because the internet was busy and the app wouldn’t load the pass.
@acgrayling Starmer is working hard to shed support - large majorities of Labour Party members & voters are proEU and proPR. But Starmer? Why isn't he in the Tory Party? We have to get a hung Parliament next year to get out of the relentless retrograde grip of the dinosaur parties.
Russia is resource rich and cash/population poor. China may well be looking at northeast Russia and not crying too many tears if Russia looks, and is, very weak.
I've poured scorn on the idea of Russia using nuclear weapons to defend territory it has invaded, but if they weren't prepared to use them to defend their internationally recognised borders then there's not much point in having them.
For China, it might be an easier bet than Taiwan, especially in the long-term. Take lessons out of Putin's book and interfere in those areas politically (as some say they are already doing).
But yes, nukes are an issue. But Moscow are well aware that China is also nuclear-capable.
I hope China does neither Russia or Taiwan. Neither is good for the world.
But I reckon what's happened in the last 15 months makes a Taiwanese adventure from China less likely, as it's made the possibility and consequences of failure much more real.
China is absolutely dedicated to reclaiming Taiwan and I suspect that many taiwanese, deep down, are resigned to its happening eventually
While Zelensky was slurping Xi's fragrant balls on the phone he said he was on board with the "One China" policy so he's resigned to it.
I'm genuinely interested in knowing whether that is true or not. Can you point me towards anywhere I can see confirmation of what you say?
Holy fucking shit. NEVER doubt the green t-shirt dialectic of the Beggar King.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy reaffirmed Ukraine's unwavering position on adherence to the "One China" policy and thanked the President of the People’s Republic of China for China's support for Ukraine's independence, sovereignty and territorial integrity.
@acgrayling Starmer is working hard to shed support - large majorities of Labour Party members & voters are proEU and proPR. But Starmer? Why isn't he in the Tory Party? We have to get a hung Parliament next year to get out of the relentless retrograde grip of the dinosaur parties.
On the subject of Taiwan, it bear repeating that it is dramatically harder to invade them than Ukraine.
For a start, they're an island. And the distance from the Chinese mainland to Taiwan* is a lot further than the distance from - say - England to France for D-Day. Plus, the obvious places where you could land troops are all on the far side of the island.
Plus, it's very hard to hide the build up for the world's largest ever amphibious invasion. Tens of thousands of ships would be required, and they would fill the ports nearest to Taiwan.
Taiwan is also pretty well armed. They have F16s, they have Dassault Mirages, they have their own indigenous fighter which is supposed to be pretty good. They are currently - in partnership with the French - building a fleet of submarines that could absolutely wreak havoc on any invading fleet.
And most of China's weapons - with the exception of the newest fighters - are based on Russian designs, that haven't held up too well in Ukraine.
My personal view is that China is unlikely to *invade* in the sense that Ukraine was invaded. That would be extremely difficult - really Ukraine x 10. I think it is much more likely that China would attempt to blockade Taiwan, and to use that to extract concessions.
* With the exception of Pingtan
The problem with a blockade is the potential intervention of the US Pacific fleet which has at least 3x the military capability of the entire Chinese navy.
Off topic, but I know there are a football and tech fans on here. Arsenal are going fully digital next season. You will only get in with a smartphone and a digital pass.
I experienced this at Wimbledon last year and I missed quite a bit of one match because the internet was busy and the app wouldn’t load the pass.
The first home game of the season will be fun…
Rumours of that too at Leicester next season, it is optional at present
This is hard on people who cannot make all games. I have two season tickets, and usually go with one son, the other being away in London, but I take him if he is home, or sometimes the boys go together. Occasionally I have loaned the tickets to my secretary so she can take her football mad son. While against T and C this has always been winked at by the club, indeed child tickets can be upgraded to adult for just this purpose.
The club wants us to sell the seat back to them when we cannot use it (max 3x per season) so they can control who goes, rather than the holder take a friend or relative
It will be a major hassle for the oldies without a smartphone too.
O/T, last two polls for the Democrat nomination have had RFK up to 19-21%.
He obviously won't win but that's a large progress from the 10-14% of a few weeks ago. While he's anti-vax, he is also anti-corporate establishment (see the argument breaking out at the moment over an American Prospect article saying Tucker Carlson had some good ideas).
I think Joe needs some of his diehard supporters on here who claim he's the most underrated President to get his numbers up...
As someone who thinks Biden an underrated president, I mean exactly what I say. Being a highly effective president who is not always rated accordingly doesn't necessarily mean he will be re elected, although he is a seasoned campaigner. You literally cannot underrate Johnson and Trump as leaders, but they still won their elections.
Good point yes. But I think he will win health permitting. The other side are in an awful mess.
Well some beautiful posts here about death disease and loss. They've been unusually absent from my (quite long) life thus far - so they're probably coming soon and in a bunch.
I’m sat in the food court at Pinderfields hospital, in Wakefield. My mum’s in the ward with her husband, who’s got sepsis. Apparently there’s a cluster of infection round his liver.
I knew he was ill but I didn’t expect him to look as bad as he did when we arrived. Think my mum was shocked too. Then the doc came in and had the DNR conversation.
Didn’t expect that.
Think he’s a gonner, they’re pumping antibiotics into him but they’re not doing anything. Very low blood pressure preventing some kind of treatment.
Bugger.
Sounds bad, but it is a common misconception that DNR means "Do Not Treat". It really means "Do Not Resuscitate with CPR, but all treatment short of that is possible".
@acgrayling Starmer is working hard to shed support - large majorities of Labour Party members & voters are proEU and proPR. But Starmer? Why isn't he in the Tory Party? We have to get a hung Parliament next year to get out of the relentless retrograde grip of the dinosaur parties.
@acgrayling Starmer is working hard to shed support - large majorities of Labour Party members & voters are proEU and proPR. But Starmer? Why isn't he in the Tory Party? We have to get a hung Parliament next year to get out of the relentless retrograde grip of the dinosaur parties.
I’m sat in the food court at Pinderfields hospital, in Wakefield. My mum’s in the ward with her husband, who’s got sepsis. Apparently there’s a cluster of infection round his liver.
I knew he was ill but I didn’t expect him to look as bad as he did when we arrived. Think my mum was shocked too. Then the doc came in and had the DNR conversation.
Didn’t expect that.
Think he’s a gonner, they’re pumping antibiotics into him but they’re not doing anything. Very low blood pressure preventing some kind of treatment.
Bugger.
Sounds bad, but it is a common misconception that DNR means "Do Not Treat". It really means "Do Not Resuscitate with CPR, but all treatment short of that is possible".
Best wishes
Thank you. They’re throwing everything at him that they can.
Yep the doc was talking about if his heart stopped. Slight wrinkle is the poor fellas got one of those devices in his chest that’ll try to restart his heart if it stops. The doctor looked very thoughtful when my mum mentioned that.
This is possibly the most depressing thread I’ve ever read on PB. Basically we are all going to die but if we are lucky it will be quick and not too painful.
I come on here for a laugh at the absurdity of the world and the idiocy of those who purport to govern us. Can we move on please?
Ask and you shall receive. Let’s leave cancer on this thread, huh?
This is a lousy disease. When cancer hits the pancreas, it's hit the jackpot. It's a great neighborhood for cancer: right next to the liver, stomach, lungs, major blood and lymph nodes: basically the equivalent of a large warm flat near major Tube and BR stations with your rent and bills paid. It settles in and breeds lots of little cancers which scatter around the body like billy-o. One of the first places it hits is the liver, and whoops you can't live without one.
We deal with cancer in three ways: chemo, radiotherapy, or resection (amputation). Some new techniques are in vogue (ablation) but that's basically it. With pancreatic cancer it grows faster than you can kill it, and you can't amputate your liver because you die. In theory you can get a transplant but cancer patients don't get transplants, so you die. Every scenario ends with "...so you die"
If you are lucky, you die from a morphine overdose that your kindly GP administers to you in the certain knowledge that everybody looks the other way on this. If you are unlucky it's the bodily equivalent of Hiroshima as everything gets affected and you die from the first major organs to stop working whilst all the others queue up to do the same.
The best you can do is the Iain Banks option: make sure your loved ones are legally sorted, get your affairs tidied up, and get all the Macallan you can get
You forgot I-O
The progress we have made in oncology over the last 5 years is remarkable
Well, thank you with crediting me with "forgetting about it" when in truth I just didn't know about it... ) I learn something new every day, thank you
Comments
I vividly recall sitting in a governors meeting where a parent governor described her nights. Her son got an hour’s sleep at best, and she and her partner essentially had to tag team every night to look after him.
To this day I cannot comprehend the love and sacrifice involved in raising a kid in those circumstances.
The temptation would be to do a bucket list, but what she did was absolutely impressive. She decided to live exactly the same life (around hospital visits), taking her girls to school sports matches, organising family parties on the IoW, and knitting large marine creatures out of wool*, all the usual things etc. I think it shows a life well lived that when faced by the grim reaper to carry on with life exactly the same.
She has been on chemo or immunotherapy for 9 years, but sadly in the last 6 months has become resistant and the end looks in sight. I am very glad that she has had those nine years with her girls.
* OK, it is a strange hobby. I have a large knitted nautilus as a sofa cushion, her daughter has a giant squid, the other a blue whale etc.
I knew he was ill but I didn’t expect him to look as bad as he did when we arrived. Think my mum was shocked too. Then the doc came in and had the DNR conversation.
Didn’t expect that.
Think he’s a gonner, they’re pumping antibiotics into him but they’re not doing anything. Very low blood pressure preventing some kind of treatment.
Bugger.
I experienced this at Wimbledon last year and I missed quite a bit of one match because the internet was busy and the app wouldn’t load the pass.
The first home game of the season will be fun…
LAB: 43% (-)
CON: 30% (+1)
LDEM: 9% (-1)
via
@DeltapollUK
, 24 - 26 Apr
SKS Fans please explain
@acgrayling
Starmer is working hard to shed support - large majorities of Labour Party members & voters are proEU and proPR. But Starmer? Why isn't he in the Tory Party?
We have to get a hung Parliament next year to get out of the relentless retrograde grip of the dinosaur parties.
https://twitter.com/acgrayling/status/1651588739221659649
This is hard on people who cannot make all games. I have two season tickets, and usually go with one son, the other being away in London, but I take him if he is home, or sometimes the boys go together. Occasionally I have loaned the tickets to my secretary so she can take her football mad son. While against T and C this has always been winked at by the club, indeed child tickets can be upgraded to adult for just this purpose.
The club wants us to sell the seat back to them when we cannot use it (max 3x per season) so they can control who goes, rather than the holder take a friend or relative
It will be a major hassle for the oldies without a smartphone too.
Best wishes
Yep the doc was talking about if his heart stopped. Slight wrinkle is the poor fellas got one of those devices in his chest that’ll try to restart his heart if it stops. The doctor looked very thoughtful when my mum mentioned that.
This thread has been cut short
I come on here for a laugh at the absurdity of the world and the idiocy of those who purport to govern us. Can we move on please?
Ask and you shall receive. Let’s leave cancer on this thread, huh?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_immunotherapy or https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immuno-oncology