People were mentioning Bob Monkhouse yesterday on here. Here are three classic Monkhouseisms - I think I heard him give the middle one live -
- "I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but he uses our smoke alarm as a timer" - "I got a horse for my wife. Fair trade, wouldn't you say?" - "I still enjoy sex at 74. I live at 75, so it's just across the road"
"When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now."
That's my all time favourite Monkhouse joke.
He was the master of timing.
The only person I can think of who compares -and it's a very, very different kind of humour- is Ricky Gervais.
Only with Ricky, he's throwing in something so wildly outrageous, you can't believe he said it. "Don't worry, I didn't kill her." (And we all know how that one ends.)
The successor to Bob Monkhouse is Jimmy Carr. I will die on this hill. Very similar in terms of delivery, dealing with hecklers, being able to think on his feet.
I don't think so. Monkhouse was rarely cruel, while Carr and Gervais often are "edgy".
Tim Vine is more like Monkhouse.
Tim Vine once held the world record for the number of jokes told in an hour - 499!
Russia sending improved Geran-2 drones to Iran, along with intel and humanitarian aid designed to shore up regime. Also looks like they're delivering man-portable anti-aircraft Verba systems
Also Starmer seems to use the beginning to announce what the govenment has done or achieved recently before questions get going.
Betty Boothroyd would never have allowed any of this!
Hoyle is a particularly poor speaker. Down at Martin and Bercow levels.
That makes three in a row, which makes me wonder if there's something about the structure of the current game that stops the Commons getting good Speakers. Guess one is that the executive are just too powerful, guess two is that it's become a bit of a career path for the wrong sort of misfit.
Can we not find another Betty Boothroyd somewhere in Parliament? The last great Speaker.
"National Savings and Investments is set to pay out £400m to customers following a missing savings scandal first revealed by The Telegraph. The savings bank is in discussions with the Treasury to repay some 37,000 savers whose money is understood to have been misplaced, after failings dating back years. The exact amount to be returned is yet to be determined, with Treasury officials understood to be working with NS&I on the finer points of “a very complex issue”, but it is thought to stretch into the hundreds of millions, potentially £400m."
That's a good article. It's the sort of thing Trump could have done with reading before he started this debacle.
I've just reached this bit. We appear to be completely fucked now.
The GCC States will tell you that’s total bollocks.
US media simply hates Trump and works backwards from there. They want the US to ‘lose’ this conflict.
While a lot of the media does hate Trump, there are a lot of people struggling with their bills because the price of gas has risen 30% or more.
Since the conflict has started we've seen Cancelled for Non Payment rates almost double on our insurance. That's a lot of people who can no longer afford both gas and auto insurance.
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US media simply hates Trump and works backwards from there. They want the US to ‘lose’ this conflict.
Since the conflict has started we've seen Cancelled for Non Payment rates almost double on our insurance. That's a lot of people who can no longer afford both gas and auto insurance.