Men who claim “status and success” don’t matter to me are either liars, idiotic liars, or saints. Because the crude truth is - women want men with status and success. With power and money. For very good Darwinian reasons:
1. These attributes prove that the man is fit in evolutionary terms - likely to have kids with equal ambition and drive and brains hat 2. If the man is rich and powerful he’s in a much better position to look after those kids
So if you really believe status and success don’t matter to you then you are saying sexual/marital success don’t really matter to you. Such men exist but they are rare
So Boris and Elon Musk and Trump are ideal mates for women then, no wonder they have had so many kids and different wives!
Of course on the day of the Pope's burial the Roman Catholic church is very clear that each man regardless of status or income or wealth or power should marry a woman if they can and avoid contraception and abortion to have plenty of children and stay married to that same woman for life. The only exceptions being those called to be Roman Catholic priests, bishops, cardinals and popes
Why is that 'very clear' ?
As it is based on their interpretation of the teachings of Jesus and Paul
As written down hundreds of years after the event and selectively translated and edited over centuries since. It would be idiotic to give such ancient ramblings any modern day credence.
Well as you are not Catholic why should they give a toss what you think about it?
Were it not for the Catholic Church being the institution that has wreaked the most death, destruction, misery, ignorance, disease, abuse, and stunted lives upon counted millions of humanity from its earliest days right through to our current time, I wouldn’t care at all.
What a load of crap, nationalism, civil wars, Communism, Nazism, militant Islam, have done far worse.
Most of our oldest universities, cathedrals and churches, many of our schools, hospitals, charities, foodbanks, homeless shelters, orphanages etc were also founded by the RC church and many of our most famous artists funded by them.
Of course militant atheist woke leftists like you are one of the biggest threats to western civilisation in human history so you are hardly one to talk!
Estimates for deaths from the Crusades alone range from 1 to 9 million, or 2 to 6 million. Given the smaller world population at the time, proportionally it is equivalent to Nazism. And that's just one of the marks in Christianity's bloody ledger.
I thoroughly understand that Christianity - indeed all major religions - can be a great support and comfort for their followers. That's why I believe religion can be a major force for good. But if admitting that religion - virtually all religions - have made massive, bloody mistakes in the past makes me a 'militant woke atheist leftist' in your eyes, then so be it.
But I'd also suggest that virtually all religions have made massive, bloody mistakes in the past, and ignoring that is just sowing the seeds for them to make those mistakes again.
At least Christianity has evolved to the point where it can admit grave moral errors. Islam is about half a century behind, and still thinks jihad is a bloody good idea, if only they can win it, especially against the Jews
Islam is doing pretty well being only half a century behind given that Christianity had a 600 year head start.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
'Hey, my name is Pagan2, and I have more than 5,000 likes on PolticalBetting"
To anyone who thinks threads that descend into slagging matches about trans rights are the worst of PB, I give you Leon's sex life as a counter-example.
It only does because various posters seem so determined to weigh in against him. If you're uninterested in his posts, don't respond.
Leon is a compulsive oversharer. I suspect he has ADHD (I mean no offence by this - I know quite a bit about the condition, and he shares this trait with several ADHD friends I have whose company I enjoy). If you just let personalities like this behave as come naturally to them rather than getting all cross about it, you can find them quite enjoyable company. They don't, IME, force you to also overshare if that's not what you want. Just treat is as a feature if the site like Morris's stoic refusal to use the quote button. You can't, in any case, use it against him or shame him by it, because it won't work. He's written a book about his sex life, FFS.
I am definitely an oversharer. It’s made me a lot of friends in life. If you admit to your worst or deepest secrets quite openly then people often respond in kind. Through that a bond is born
I’m not ADHD. I have almost none of the classic diagnostic symptoms
Mildly manic depressive exhibitionist with serious substance dependency issues and a pathological fear of boredom. That’s me
I’m quite dissimilar to a lot of PBers who are on the classic neurodivergence spectrum, as you would expect on a site dedicated to stats, maths and geeky analytics
Fair enough. I mean no rudeness by it. Inasmuch as you can infer a personality through a webforum, you have a similar personality to one of my beat friends, who is definitely ADHD. But you know yourself best and there is more to it than just personality.
On another note, I am returning from Sheffield; a troop of Morris Dancers ha e just boarded at Stockport.
Not at all offended
I just did a few online ADHD tests, coz you intrigued me. Result “3% ADHD”, “results not compatible with ADHD”, “definitely not ADHD” etc
I can focus, I get tasks done, I don’t get easily distracted when working, I can multitask, I don’t fidget, etc
About the only adhd symptoms I have (judging by these tests) are risk taking and occasional sleep disorder
And trust me, if I was positive: I would now over share and explain EXACTLY how I am ADHD
I tried to do those tests but got bored after 30 seconds or so, so I guess it's no ADHD for me.
Men who claim “status and success” don’t matter to me are either liars, idiotic liars, or saints. Because the crude truth is - women want men with status and success. With power and money. For very good Darwinian reasons:
1. These attributes prove that the man is fit in evolutionary terms - likely to have kids with equal ambition and drive and brains
2. If the man is rich and powerful he’s in a much better position to look after those kids
So if you really believe status and success don’t matter to you then you are saying sexual/marital success don’t really matter to you. Such men exist but they are rare
Status and success are two quite different things, though.
Few people want to be a failure; a very large number don’t hugely care about being top dog. You aren’t one of the latter.
I have a moderately successful friend who has recently retired. He reports his surprise when people - men - ask him whether he misses the status. "What - of running a medium-sized market research firm?", he replies with characteristic bafflement.
I think the number of people motivated by status is relatively low. I've met one or two, but they always seem incongruous. I'm sure they do get the women, but achieving great status seems a particularly labour-intensive way of appealing to the opposite sex. Being quite nice is IME just as effective and considerably easier.
Yes, but I think Type A males really struggle to understand men who are unbothered by status*, as we see earlier in the thread. The problem lies with them, not us though.
Incidentally @DavidL while I have some sympathy with the Stoics I see myself more as a follower of Epicurean philosophy.
And I agree with @IanB2 that a cute dog is much more of interest to the female of the species than what car you drive.
* at least as conventionally measured in our society. I can be fiendishly competitive in pub quizzes.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
Governments are generally rubbish at picking winners so I wouldn’t advocate state investment except on building good infrastructure to create the right environment. But could the state slant tax regimes to favour longer term returns - e.g. a sliding scale for CGT so that it reduces to 0% for investments held for >20 years? Conversely stack it up much higher for <1 year.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
'Hey, my name is Pagan2, and I have more than 5,000 likes on PolticalBetting"
Not sure likes here counts as success, to me what counts as success is I have loved, I have one biological child that is doing well, three adopted daughters who are also doing well...all of them keep in regular contact and like to chat to me and visit. That is success not having a fancy job title and pulling in x00K a year in a job you hate that stresses you out. I am mentally pretty stable, the person telling me I lack success has admitted to issues that way.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The first couple of years after my wife of 10 years died (nearly 20 years ago) I didn't see anyone. Then people started saying I should go out and enjoy myself. So I went out and, through the crazy world of online dating, met and slept with a fair number of women, including a few one-night stands. This was such a deeply unfilfilling experience that I eventually pretty much gave up dating until, almost by chance, I met my current partner of 8 years and am now as content as I ever was. I certainly proved to myself that I am much, much happier in a committed relationship than when supposedly "having fun". YMMV.
Governments are generally rubbish at picking winners so I wouldn’t advocate state investment except on building good infrastructure to create the right environment. But could the state slant tax regimes to favour longer term returns - e.g. a sliding scale for CGT so that it reduces to 0% for investments held for >20 years?
Wouldn't that make investments more risk adverse, making it better to have a solid investment over the long term than investing in a great idea that might make loads in the short term but might only last 4-5 years before the competition eats your lunch.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
I get angry mostly with idiots and hypocrites....judge which category you fall into for yourself
To anyone who thinks threads that descend into slagging matches about trans rights are the worst of PB, I give you Leon's sex life as a counter-example.
It only does because various posters seem so determined to weigh in against him. If you're uninterested in his posts, don't respond.
Leon is a compulsive oversharer. I suspect he has ADHD (I mean no offence by this - I know quite a bit about the condition, and he shares this trait with several ADHD friends I have whose company I enjoy). If you just let personalities like this behave as come naturally to them rather than getting all cross about it, you can find them quite enjoyable company. They don't, IME, force you to also overshare if that's not what you want. Just treat is as a feature if the site like Morris's stoic refusal to use the quote button. You can't, in any case, use it against him or shame him by it, because it won't work. He's written a book about his sex life, FFS.
I am definitely an oversharer. It’s made me a lot of friends in life. If you admit to your worst or deepest secrets quite openly then people often respond in kind. Through that a bond is born
I’m not ADHD. I have almost none of the classic diagnostic symptoms
Mildly manic depressive exhibitionist with serious substance dependency issues and a pathological fear of boredom. That’s me
I’m quite dissimilar to a lot of PBers who are on the classic neurodivergence spectrum, as you would expect on a site dedicated to stats, maths and geeky analytics
Fair enough. I mean no rudeness by it. Inasmuch as you can infer a personality through a webforum, you have a similar personality to one of my beat friends, who is definitely ADHD. But you know yourself best and there is more to it than just personality.
On another note, I am returning from Sheffield; a troop of Morris Dancers ha e just boarded at Stockport.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
I get angry mostly with idiots and hypocrites....judge which category you fall into for yourself
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The first couple of years after my wife of 10 years died (nearly 20 years ago) I didn't see anyone. Then people started saying I should go out and enjoy myself. So I went out and, through the crazy world of online dating, met and slept with a fair number of women, including a few one-night stands. This was such a deeply unfilfilling experience that I eventually pretty much gave up dating until, almost by chance, I met my current partner of 8 years and am now as content as I ever was. I certainly proved to myself that I am much, much happier in a committed relationship than when supposedly "having fun". YMMV.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
I get angry mostly with idiots and hypocrites....judge which category you fall into for yourself
Geniuses.
Ah another Leon with an inflated sense of their intelligence, nods
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 20x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Governments are generally rubbish at picking winners so I wouldn’t advocate state investment except on building good infrastructure to create the right environment. But could the state slant tax regimes to favour longer term returns - e.g. a sliding scale for CGT so that it reduces to 0% for investments held for >20 years?
Wouldn't that make investments more risk adverse, making it better to have a solid investment over the long term than investing in a great idea that might make loads in the short term but might only last 4-5 years before the competition eats your lunch.
Yeah maybe, can’t say I’ve thought this manifesto through in great detail but as the header notes, short-termism is an issue “ We need financiers who will look more than two years into the future.”
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The first couple of years after my wife of 10 years died (nearly 20 years ago) I didn't see anyone. Then people started saying I should go out and enjoy myself. So I went out and, through the crazy world of online dating, met and slept with a fair number of women, including a few one-night stands. This was such a deeply unfilfilling experience that I eventually pretty much gave up dating until, almost by chance, I met my current partner of 8 years and am now as content as I ever was. I certainly proved to myself that I am much, much happier in a committed relationship than when supposedly "having fun". YMMV.
Thanks, but don't worry, that was a long time ago now. I wasn't looking for sympathy, rather using my own story to illustrate that promiscuity isn't for everyone!
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The first couple of years after my wife of 10 years died (nearly 20 years ago) I didn't see anyone. Then people started saying I should go out and enjoy myself. So I went out and, through the crazy world of online dating, met and slept with a fair number of women, including a few one-night stands. This was such a deeply unfilfilling experience that I eventually pretty much gave up dating until, almost by chance, I met my current partner of 8 years and am now as content as I ever was. I certainly proved to myself that I am much, much happier in a committed relationship than when supposedly "having fun". YMMV.
Thanks, but don't worry, that was a long time ago now. I wasn't looking for sympathy, rather using my own story to illustrate that promiscuity isn't for everyone!
You know, when I was writing the comment, I thought I was being a little exclusionary. But I wanted to get the word "commune" in there, and couldn't easily see how I could do it otherwise. Sorry.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
Let him be, it’s being so miserable keeps him happy.
Governments are generally rubbish at picking winners so I wouldn’t advocate state investment except on building good infrastructure to create the right environment. But could the state slant tax regimes to favour longer term returns - e.g. a sliding scale for CGT so that it reduces to 0% for investments held for >20 years?
Wouldn't that make investments more risk adverse, making it better to have a solid investment over the long term than investing in a great idea that might make loads in the short term but might only last 4-5 years before the competition eats your lunch.
Yeah maybe, can’t say I’ve thought this manifesto through in great detail but as the header notes, short-termism is an issue “ We need financiers who will look more than two years into the future.”
It is executives as much as those evil financiers. The big change over the last 30 years or so has been the rise of executive pay and how much of that has become performance related. Inevitably they end up making the accounts look pretty in their preferred time horizon, then move onto to the next corporate to milk.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 100x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Of course, there's no evolutionary benefit if those offspring don't survive because there's no man around to help provide for them! Focussing on ensuring that a few kids make it to maturity may be a better strategy than the scattergun approach, hence why many men are fulfilled by family life.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 100x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Of course, there's no evolutionary benefit if those offspring don't survive because there's no man around to help provide for them! Focussing on ensuring that a few kids make it to maturity may be a better strategy than the scattergun approach, hence why many men are fulfilled by family life.
Good point. That's certainly true of me.
Perhaps that goes back to the original post about status. Perhaps my sense of self worth is down to my status as a family man; someone else's might be diwn to his status as a successful businessman; someone else's might be down to his success with many women, or by success at sport or a hobby. We can all win by whatever criteria we aet ourselves.
Men who claim “status and success” don’t matter to me are either liars, idiotic liars, or saints. Because the crude truth is - women want men with status and success. With power and money. For very good Darwinian reasons:
1. These attributes prove that the man is fit in evolutionary terms - likely to have kids with equal ambition and drive and brains
2. If the man is rich and powerful he’s in a much better position to look after those kids
So if you really believe status and success don’t matter to you then you are saying sexual/marital success don’t really matter to you. Such men exist but they are rare
I think you're way off-base.
After all, you're not someone with sexual or marital success, are you? And how much were you around your kids when they were kids? Yet you like to show off your 'status' and 'success' on here every effing day...
I don’t want to get into crude and vulgar boasting games about sex, I find them distasteful in the extreme, indicative of sociopathy - and likely to drive the few remaining female PBers off the site. And we need them. So I will restrict myself to observing that I have fucked about 350-400 women
Hookers don't count as notches on the bedpost.
My recently deceased friend **** - a man very much after my own heart (hence, perhaps his untimely demise: RIP) - made a pontifical judgment on this theological point. After much debate, he decided that you are allowed to count one hooker, but she must stand for them all. Very much like the one unknown soldier under the Cenotaph, representing the thousands lost in the mud. So 100, 200, 400 hookers - whatever the total, you only get one notch
If we are to apply Paul’s Doctrine to my own score, then I have had sex with about 101 women
However as I said I despise this kind of vulgar boasting, it is crude, misogynistic and juvenile, so I am not going to mention again that even under this rule I am probably in three figures. A ton at the Oval, as it were
I'm not sure who is flagging you for your boastful posts but it is not me.
By the way 300 hookers plus 101 one night stands over your 60 years gives you a strike rate of around 7 a year, which quite frankly is nothing to boast about.
Presumably very few of those were when he was under the age of 12 however.
If you really want to dig into the maths, then I didn’t start until I was 18. Nervous late developer, Popped my cherry in my first year t uni
I was still only on 4 or so by the end of Uni (fell in love with the first, calamitous mistake)
I didn’t really get into the swing until my mid 20s, then I fell off the swing (drugs), then I got back on the swing in a serious way in my early 30s, when I was tupping a new girl every week. Then I had some relationships. Then I clearly got annoyed at myself for being happy and successful so i went back on the drugs, drastically reducing my run rate again, then I had a mild revival in my 40s but had babies,; then I had a major revival in my 50s when I was probably the most successful ever, then I did the dumb thing and fell in love again and this time I got actually married. I have never truly recovered
So it’s a weird stop-go pattern. Long periods of nothing then sudden shorter periods of intensity. A bit like war?
Weird? Sounds boringly normal for a commitment-phobe who hangs out in places where people are open to a flingette.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The answer is obviously the person who has most posts on PB.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The answer is obviously the person who has most posts on PB.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
I nearly missed my flight as I hadn't realised Stansted station is closed this weekend, so had to get the replacement bus service from Broxbourne. I only made it about five minutes before check-in closed
I like Biarritz airport; only one queue for passport control. The plane landed at quarter to five, I was in my.room in the town centre by quarter past
I've found a nice looking restaurant, selling fresh anchovies right by the fish market, that opens at seven. Couple of beers, decent dinner and a good night's sleep will set me up perfectly to start my big walk tomorrow
I nearly missed my flight as I hadn't realised Stansted station is closed this weekend, so had to get the replacement bus service from Broxbourne. I only made it about five minutes before check-in closed
I like Biarritz airport; only one queue for passport control. The plane landed at quarter to five, I was in my.room in the town centre by quarter past
I've found a nice looking restaurant, selling fresh anchovies right by the fish market, that opens at seven. Couple of beers, decent dinner and a good night's sleep will set me up perfectly to start my big walk tomorrow
Glad you made it, hope the walking tour goes well.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 100x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Of course, there's no evolutionary benefit if those offspring don't survive because there's no man around to help provide for them! Focussing on ensuring that a few kids make it to maturity may be a better strategy than the scattergun approach, hence why many men are fulfilled by family life.
This is actually a known field of evolutionary psychology, it’s called r/K selection theory. Is it better for a man to impregnate loads of women and not give a toss about the kids, in the hope a few do OK, or is it better for a man to find one good woman and stick with her and bring up 2-3 stable kids
At the same time women have their own selfish strategies, which hugely complicates everything. One of them is to find a stable beta male willing to stick with them - but while he’s mowing the lawn and going into Leicester, sneak off and fuck the alpha male and get his superior genes into your kids and don’t tell the beta husband in the potting shed
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
No doubt Pagan has issues, just as you do.
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ? I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 100x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Of course, there's no evolutionary benefit if those offspring don't survive because there's no man around to help provide for them! Focussing on ensuring that a few kids make it to maturity may be a better strategy than the scattergun approach, hence why many men are fulfilled by family life.
Good point. That's certainly true of me.
Perhaps that goes back to the original post about status. Perhaps my sense of self worth is down to my status as a family man; someone else's might be diwn to his status as a successful businessman; someone else's might be down to his success with many women, or by success at sport or a hobby. We can all win by whatever criteria we aet ourselves.
Yes, that is what I meant by intrinsic goals rather than extrinsic ones set by wider society.
So setting out to raise well adjusted children with sound values in a loving, supportive household is an intrinsic goal set by oneself. Such a lifestyle may be scorned by materialistic hedonists who value other things in life.
Governments are generally rubbish at picking winners so I wouldn’t advocate state investment except on building good infrastructure to create the right environment. But could the state slant tax regimes to favour longer term returns - e.g. a sliding scale for CGT so that it reduces to 0% for investments held for > 20 years? Conversely stack it up much higher for < 1 year.
Governments can pick sectors though, without picking winners. Which is essentially what China has been doing.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
No doubt Pagan has issues, just as you do.
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ? I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
I have bet £20 at 1/2 that the Liberal Party will achieve most votes in the April 28, 2025 Canadian Federal Election courtesy of those nice folks at Coraldbrokes
I don't think anyone has mentioned body image as a source of male self-esteem and mental health. Of those friends who have struggled, being overweight and losing your hair has caused the most strife.
I've had wild swings in weight over the last 10 years. Being consistently slim and muscular is only something I've achieved a few times, and they've been the happiest times of my life. Though that might be actually due to the associated exercise and consumption of great food, rather than my body itself.
My partner poked my post-winter belly a few weeks ago and it really, really hurt. She meant no malice by it at all.
Did this get much discussion ? It makes way more sense than Trump’s nonsense.
Ukrainian and European peace deal counterproposals to US at talks in London
https://www.reuters.com/world/ukrainian-european-peace-deal-counterproposals-us-talks-london-2025-04-25/ Russia-Ukraine Deal Framework Ceasefire: - Commit to a full and unconditional ceasefire in the sky, on land and at sea. - Both sides immediately enter into negotiations on technical implementation with the participation of the US and European countries. This is in parallel to preparation of the agenda and modalities for a full peace deal. -Ceasefire monitoring, led by the US and supported by third countries. -Russia must unconditionally return all deported and illegally displaced Ukrainian children. Exchange of all prisoners of war (the principle of "all for all"). Russia must release all civilian prisoners. Security guarantees for Ukraine: -Ukraine receives robust security guarantees including from the US (Article 5-like agreement), while there is no consensus among Allies on NATO membership. -No restrictions on the Ukrainian Defense Forces. -The guarantor states will be an ad hoc group of European countries and willing non-European countries. No restrictions on the presence, weapons and operations of friendly foreign forces on the territory of Ukraine. -Ceasefire monitoring, led by the US and supported by third countries. -Russia must unconditionally return all deported and illegally displaced Ukrainian children. Exchange of all prisoners of war (the principle of "all for all"). Russia must release all civilian prisoners. Security guarantees for Ukraine: -Ukraine receives robust security guarantees including from the US (Article 5-like agreement), while there is no consensus among Allies on NATO membership. -No restrictions on the Ukrainian Defense Forces. -The guarantor states will be an ad hoc group of European countries and willing non-European countries. No restrictions on the presence, weapons and operations of friendly foreign forces on the territory of Ukraine.
To anyone who thinks threads that descend into slagging matches about trans rights are the worst of PB, I give you Leon's sex life as a counter-example.
It only does because various posters seem so determined to weigh in against him. If you're uninterested in his posts, don't respond.
Leon is a compulsive oversharer. I suspect he has ADHD (I mean no offence by this - I know quite a bit about the condition, and he shares this trait with several ADHD friends I have whose company I enjoy). If you just let personalities like this behave as come naturally to them rather than getting all cross about it, you can find them quite enjoyable company. They don't, IME, force you to also overshare if that's not what you want. Just treat is as a feature if the site like Morris's stoic refusal to use the quote button. You can't, in any case, use it against him or shame him by it, because it won't work. He's written a book about his sex life, FFS.
I am definitely an oversharer. It’s made me a lot of friends in life. If you admit to your worst or deepest secrets quite openly then people often respond in kind. Through that a bond is born
I’m not ADHD. I have almost none of the classic diagnostic symptoms
Mildly manic depressive exhibitionist with serious substance dependency issues and a pathological fear of boredom. That’s me
I’m quite dissimilar to a lot of PBers who are on the classic neurodivergence spectrum, as you would expect on a site dedicated to stats, maths and geeky analytics
Fair enough. I mean no rudeness by it. Inasmuch as you can infer a personality through a webforum, you have a similar personality to one of my beat friends, who is definitely ADHD. But you know yourself best and there is more to it than just personality.
On another note, I am returning from Sheffield; a troop of Morris Dancers ha e just boarded at Stockport.
Not at all offended
I just did a few online ADHD tests, coz you intrigued me. Result “3% ADHD”, “results not compatible with ADHD”, “definitely not ADHD” etc
I can focus, I get tasks done, I don’t get easily distracted when working, I can multitask, I don’t fidget, etc
About the only adhd symptoms I have (judging by these tests) are risk taking and occasional sleep disorder
And trust me, if I was positive: I would now over share and explain EXACTLY how I am ADHD
I tried to do those tests but got bored after 30 seconds or so, so I guess it's no ADHD for me.
I nearly missed my flight as I hadn't realised Stansted station is closed this weekend, so had to get the replacement bus service from Broxbourne. I only made it about five minutes before check-in closed
I like Biarritz airport; only one queue for passport control. The plane landed at quarter to five, I was in my.room in the town centre by quarter past
I've found a nice looking restaurant, selling fresh anchovies right by the fish market, that opens at seven. Couple of beers, decent dinner and a good night's sleep will set me up perfectly to start my big walk tomorrow
There's a train from Biarritz to St Jean tomorrow if you overdo it tonight. Looking forward to your pic per day.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
No doubt Pagan has issues, just as you do.
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ? I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
Blinks....I am not a complicated person
My daughter - when she was little - always used to say "complicated" when she meant "constipated".
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
No doubt Pagan has issues, just as you do.
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ? I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
Blinks....I am not a complicated person
You have to allow for my deficiencies in comprehension.
I have bet £20 at 1/2 that the Liberal Party will achieve most votes in the April 28, 2025 Canadian Federal Election courtesy of those nice folks at Coraldbrokes
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 100x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Of course, there's no evolutionary benefit if those offspring don't survive because there's no man around to help provide for them! Focussing on ensuring that a few kids make it to maturity may be a better strategy than the scattergun approach, hence why many men are fulfilled by family life.
This is actually a known field of evolutionary psychology, it’s called r/K selection theory. Is it better for a man to impregnate loads of women and not give a toss about the kids, in the hope a few do OK, or is it better for a man to find one good woman and stick with her and bring up 2-3 stable kids
At the same time women have their own selfish strategies, which hugely complicates everything. One of them is to find a stable beta male willing to stick with them - but while he’s mowing the lawn and going into Leicester, sneak off and fuck the alpha male and get his superior genes into your kids and don’t tell the beta husband in the potting shed
No one is sure which is better for a successful society. Much dispute arises
A lot of so-called alpha males are just losers with the emotional intelligence of a toddler that will go through life with no purpose or meaning.
I enjoyed the freedom and experimentation of my teenage and early 20s. I am also enjoying the joy of a committed relationship and of children I get to watch grow up daily, who show genuine affection unmatched by adult relationships.
Each to their own. Claiming that failing to settle down makes someone alpha sounds like a copying mechanism to me.
I have bet £20 at 1/2 that the Liberal Party will achieve most votes in the April 28, 2025 Canadian Federal Election courtesy of those nice folks at Coraldbrokes
#BigBoyPants
***Betting Post***
Thanks for the tip @viewcode. Nice to see Laddys putting up some decent markets on Canadian politics for once.
The bet I've gone for is PP losing his seat at 14/1.
I reckon that's a good value loser.
There are reports his seat might be in danger, and the Conservatives have thus thrown more resources at it, but that alone in my view means it should be nowhere near that long he loses it, particularly because this is Canada.
I have bet £20 at 1/2 that the Liberal Party will achieve most votes in the April 28, 2025 Canadian Federal Election courtesy of those nice folks at Coraldbrokes
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
No doubt Pagan has issues, just as you do.
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ? I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
Blinks....I am not a complicated person
You have to allow for my deficiencies in comprehension.
Neither am I a constipated person mostly, though admittedly like most I have bouts
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 100x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Of course, there's no evolutionary benefit if those offspring don't survive because there's no man around to help provide for them! Focussing on ensuring that a few kids make it to maturity may be a better strategy than the scattergun approach, hence why many men are fulfilled by family life.
This is actually a known field of evolutionary psychology, it’s called r/K selection theory. Is it better for a man to impregnate loads of women and not give a toss about the kids, in the hope a few do OK, or is it better for a man to find one good woman and stick with her and bring up 2-3 stable kids
At the same time women have their own selfish strategies, which hugely complicates everything. One of them is to find a stable beta male willing to stick with them - but while he’s mowing the lawn and going into Leicester, sneak off and fuck the alpha male and get his superior genes into your kids and don’t tell the beta husband in the potting shed
No one is sure which is better for a successful society. Much dispute arises
A lot of so-called alpha males are just losers with the emotional intelligence of a toddler that will go through life with no purpose or meaning.
I enjoyed the freedom and experimentation of my teenage and early 20s. I am also enjoying the joy of a committed relationship and of children I get to watch grow up daily, who show genuine affection unmatched by adult relationships.
Each to their own. Claiming that failing to settle down makes someone alpha sounds like a copying mechanism to me.
Well, indeed.
A thread that started with a lot of sincere discussion about men’s mental health became about boasting about the number of prostitutes visited. I think that says something about how we talk about men’s mental health.
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
No doubt Pagan has issues, just as you do.
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ? I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
Blinks....I am not a complicated person
You have to allow for my deficiencies in comprehension.
Neither am I a constipated person mostly, though admittedly like most I have bouts
I also don't understand my reputation as an angry person the majority of my posts aren't. I freely admit when someone provokes me with stupidity or hypocrisy I don't hold back when expressing what I think. I like to think though most of what I post is considered and often has links to sources when arguing a point rather than telling someone the difference between them and plankton is that they happen to be taller
So who has had a more fulfilling year - the person who has slept with 20 partners once, or the person who has slept with the same partner over 100 times?
The latter, but the former carries some resonance amongst men - and it does, futile to deny it - because it shows one is able to consistently and repeatedly attract women.
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
From an evolutionary point of view, the former is better, since the former can have up to 100x more offspring. And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Of course, there's no evolutionary benefit if those offspring don't survive because there's no man around to help provide for them! Focussing on ensuring that a few kids make it to maturity may be a better strategy than the scattergun approach, hence why many men are fulfilled by family life.
This is actually a known field of evolutionary psychology, it’s called r/K selection theory. Is it better for a man to impregnate loads of women and not give a toss about the kids, in the hope a few do OK, or is it better for a man to find one good woman and stick with her and bring up 2-3 stable kids
At the same time women have their own selfish strategies, which hugely complicates everything. One of them is to find a stable beta male willing to stick with them - but while he’s mowing the lawn and going into Leicester, sneak off and fuck the alpha male and get his superior genes into your kids and don’t tell the beta husband in the potting shed
No one is sure which is better for a successful society. Much dispute arises
A lot of so-called alpha males are just losers with the emotional intelligence of a toddler that will go through life with no purpose or meaning.
I enjoyed the freedom and experimentation of my teenage and early 20s. I am also enjoying the joy of a committed relationship and of children I get to watch grow up daily, who show genuine affection unmatched by adult relationships.
Each to their own. Claiming that failing to settle down makes someone alpha sounds like a copying mechanism to me.
Well, indeed.
A thread that started with a lot of sincere discussion about men’s mental health became about boasting about the number of prostitutes visited. I think that says something about how we talk about men’s mental health.
I think it says something about how some men consider mental health more
To anyone who thinks threads that descend into slagging matches about trans rights are the worst of PB, I give you Leon's sex life as a counter-example.
It only does because various posters seem so determined to weigh in against him. If you're uninterested in his posts, don't respond.
Leon is a compulsive oversharer. I suspect he has ADHD (I mean no offence by this - I know quite a bit about the condition, and he shares this trait with several ADHD friends I have whose company I enjoy). If you just let personalities like this behave as come naturally to them rather than getting all cross about it, you can find them quite enjoyable company. They don't, IME, force you to also overshare if that's not what you want. Just treat is as a feature if the site like Morris's stoic refusal to use the quote button. You can't, in any case, use it against him or shame him by it, because it won't work. He's written a book about his sex life, FFS.
I am definitely an oversharer. It’s made me a lot of friends in life. If you admit to your worst or deepest secrets quite openly then people often respond in kind. Through that a bond is born
I’m not ADHD. I have almost none of the classic diagnostic symptoms
Mildly manic depressive exhibitionist with serious substance dependency issues and a pathological fear of boredom. That’s me
I’m quite dissimilar to a lot of PBers who are on the classic neurodivergence spectrum, as you would expect on a site dedicated to stats, maths and geeky analytics
Fair enough. I mean no rudeness by it. Inasmuch as you can infer a personality through a webforum, you have a similar personality to one of my beat friends, who is definitely ADHD. But you know yourself best and there is more to it than just personality.
On another note, I am returning from Sheffield; a troop of Morris Dancers ha e just boarded at Stockport.
Hours of listening to off topic anecdota from the ancient world? Enjoy it as best you can!
Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone. I shall try to respond later this afternoon.
Apologies for not being here for my own threader, but it might be interesting to know why I was not here.
Earlier this week, a 17 year old lad went missing from a nearby village. This morning, at least 100 of us - possibly up to 200 - met up for an official police search. I joined a group of six other strangers, and we drove off to search a nearby village. After walking four miles over two hours, around muddy fields and searching ditches and culverts, I met another group who said the search had been called off. I've heard nothing official, but it looks like bad news.
I have several things to say about this.
Obviously, condolences to the lad's family. It must be a hideous time. But on a slight bright side, it's good to see so many people turn up to try to help. And it sounds as though one group did help. Making a few assumptions: we need to talk more about mental health, especially for boys and men. Life can be tough for everyone, and the 'traditional' way men are meant to be - stiff upper lip, never crying, never talking about emotions - might well be quite harmful. If you feel low, talk to someone. It's not unmanly. And we need to teach our kids that as well.
Finally, it was all slightly disorganised. Each group was given a set area to search, but there was no connection back to base. This seems an ideal job for there to be an app that would automatically show the police where you are, and where you have searched, and allow them to give you updates. Once I heard the news about the search being called off, there was no way, aside from calling one of my group who I had the number of, to tell them about it. I'm sure it could be better done.
But thanks again to everyone who turned out. There are many, many good people out there in society.
Apols for the rant.
Agree. But. We've been talking more about mental health gradually throughout the whole of my adult life. More and more people are doing it more often than ever before. The stigma is declining. And yet...mental health isn't improving. What we haven't done is train enough professionals or spend the money. Crucially. We haven't asked why with all the material advances we aren't any happier? And where does this epidemic of misery, anger and dissatisfaction come from?
"And yet...mental health isn't improving."
Perhaps it is, but because people talk about it more, we get to see more people who are deeply unhappy, whereas before they would be invisible?
Agree with much of the rest of your comment.
My mental health has been the worst when my self-esteem has been hit and I don't think I'm appreciated or valued enough, and you can spiral down.
Status and recognition is hugely important to men.
Status and recognition are important to some men, the sane ones realise its total bollocks
Nah, it is. Today has been an exercise in men saying it doesn't matter to them only to demonstrate it does, in different ways.
You're no different.
Sorry you don't get to diagnose me as suffering from your mental illness
Yeah, I do.
I'm right, and you just can't handle it. Because there is nothing that vaguely passes for "success" in your life.
No you aren't right and you are risible for thinking so, if I thought like you I wouldn't have turned down promotions on at least 3 occasions in different companies because while being a manager gives me more status and more money which is what individuals with your insanity count as success because frankly why would I want a to trade doing something I enjoy for that sort of shitfest.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Lol. Touchy. This accounts for why you are so angry.
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
No doubt Pagan has issues, just as you do.
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ? I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
Blinks....I am not a complicated person
My daughter - when she was little - always used to say "complicated" when she meant "constipated".
Comments
That, from a pure evolutionary point of view (not a social one) is a valuable biological skill, and thus it admired, and feared.
Go imagine everyone is like you thankfully a lot of us think you are a plonker
Incidentally @DavidL while I have some sympathy with the Stoics I see myself more as a follower of Epicurean philosophy.
And I agree with @IanB2 that a cute dog is much more of interest to the female of the species than what car you drive.
* at least as conventionally measured in our society. I can be fiendishly competitive in pub quizzes.
Now, having had a cuppa I must get my lawn cut.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer_erasure
You've made some bad choices in life, and secretly hate yourself for it.
Governments are generally rubbish at picking winners so I wouldn’t advocate state investment except on building good infrastructure to create the right environment. But could the state slant tax regimes to favour longer term returns - e.g. a sliding scale for CGT so that it reduces to 0% for investments held for >20 years? Conversely stack it up much higher for <1 year.
And given our brain chemistry generally rewards us for evolutionarily beneficial behaviour - logically you would expect the former to be happier.
(To be clear, I am talking entirely theoretically here - the number of different partners I have had over the past 17 years can be counted on the fingers of one finger.)
Good point. That's certainly true of me.
Perhaps that goes back to the original post about status. Perhaps my sense of self worth is down to my status as a family man; someone else's might be diwn to his status as a successful businessman; someone else's might be down to his success with many women, or by success at sport or a hobby. We can all win by whatever criteria we aet ourselves.
I nearly missed my flight as I hadn't realised Stansted station is closed this weekend, so had to get the replacement bus service from Broxbourne. I only made it about five minutes before check-in closed
I like Biarritz airport; only one queue for passport control. The plane landed at quarter to five, I was in my.room in the town centre by quarter past
I've found a nice looking restaurant, selling fresh anchovies right by the fish market, that opens at seven. Couple of beers, decent dinner and a good night's sleep will set me up perfectly to start my big walk tomorrow
The barbs you think will wound are just projection, I think.
At the same time women have their own selfish strategies, which hugely complicates everything. One of them is to find a stable beta male willing to stick with them - but while he’s mowing the lawn and going into Leicester, sneak off and fuck the alpha male and get his superior genes into your kids and don’t tell the beta husband in the potting shed
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R/K_selection_theory
No one is sure which is better for a successful society. Much dispute arises
But do you really not get that he marches to the beat of a different drum ?
I don’t really understand him, but I do at least get that.
So setting out to raise well adjusted children with sound values in a loving, supportive household is an intrinsic goal set by oneself. Such a lifestyle may be scorned by materialistic hedonists who value other things in life.
Which is essentially what China has been doing.
I have bet £20 at 1/2 that the Liberal Party will achieve most votes in the April 28, 2025 Canadian Federal Election courtesy of those nice folks at Coraldbrokes
#BigBoyPants
I've had wild swings in weight over the last 10 years. Being consistently slim and muscular is only something I've achieved a few times, and they've been the happiest times of my life. Though that might be actually due to the associated exercise and consumption of great food, rather than my body itself.
My partner poked my post-winter belly a few weeks ago and it really, really hurt. She meant no malice by it at all.
It makes way more sense than Trump’s nonsense.
Ukrainian and European peace deal counterproposals to US at talks in London
https://www.reuters.com/world/ukrainian-european-peace-deal-counterproposals-us-talks-london-2025-04-25/
Russia-Ukraine Deal Framework
Ceasefire:
- Commit to a full and unconditional ceasefire in the sky, on land and at sea.
- Both sides immediately enter into negotiations on technical implementation with the participation of the US and European countries. This is in parallel to preparation of the agenda and modalities for a full peace deal.
-Ceasefire monitoring, led by the US and supported by third countries.
-Russia must unconditionally return all deported and illegally displaced Ukrainian children. Exchange of all prisoners of war (the principle of "all for all"). Russia must release all civilian prisoners.
Security guarantees for Ukraine:
-Ukraine receives robust security guarantees including from the US (Article 5-like agreement), while there is no consensus among Allies on NATO membership.
-No restrictions on the Ukrainian Defense Forces.
-The guarantor states will be an ad hoc group of European countries and willing non-European countries. No restrictions on the presence, weapons and operations of friendly foreign forces on the territory of Ukraine.
-Ceasefire monitoring, led by the US and supported by third countries.
-Russia must unconditionally return all deported and illegally displaced Ukrainian children. Exchange of all prisoners of war (the principle of "all for all"). Russia must release all civilian prisoners.
Security guarantees for Ukraine:
-Ukraine receives robust security guarantees including from the US (Article 5-like agreement), while there is no consensus among Allies on NATO membership.
-No restrictions on the Ukrainian Defense Forces.
-The guarantor states will be an ad hoc group of European countries and willing non-European countries. No restrictions on the presence, weapons and operations of friendly foreign forces on the territory of Ukraine.
It took a bit of backward reading to understand the context.
I live with three single women.
Although one is a nun.
I enjoyed the freedom and experimentation of my teenage and early 20s. I am also enjoying the joy of a committed relationship and of children I get to watch grow up daily, who show genuine affection unmatched by adult relationships.
Each to their own. Claiming that failing to settle down makes someone alpha sounds like a copying mechanism to me.
Thanks for the tip @viewcode. Nice to see Laddys putting up some decent markets on Canadian politics for once.
The bet I've gone for is PP losing his seat at 14/1.
I reckon that's a good value loser.
There are reports his seat might be in danger, and the Conservatives have thus thrown more resources at it, but that alone in my view means it should be nowhere near that long he loses it, particularly because this is Canada.
Vance will be blowing a gasket but as Biden seems to have done the same thing then maybe US got the wrong memo?
A thread that started with a lot of sincere discussion about men’s mental health became about boasting about the number of prostitutes visited. I think that says something about how we talk about men’s mental health.
NEW THREAD