politicalbetting.com » Blog Archive » It appears that Mrs May is making plans for Damian Green’s departure
A not very happy finish for Damian Green's career could see Lord Hague brought back. Every female Tory PM needs a Willie. Though he's not keen. https://t.co/6AHYfOkpkt pic.twitter.com/EzndXbtCST
Seems ridiculous that in 2017 someone has to resign because they have/had (legal) porn on their computer.. But I guess like with most resignations it's the denials/cover-up that will do the damage in the end?
The assumption (after the resignations of Sir Michael Fallon and Priti) was that Theresa wouldn't be able to survive losing Damian Green...
IMHO I would tend towards her surviving. The Tories don’t want to risk letting Corbyn in, and there’s no one better than May atm.
The question is really when rather than if in terms of May exit.
I will stay out of the next cabinet minister for the sack race. Too many candidates, plus a febrile atmosphere. I suspect that the value is on some of the longer odds ones for personal scandal, shorter odds for political differences.
Surely Phil will set out his stall this week, and the question then will be whether the secret police defenestrate him, or her.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
It isn't even established its HIS computer - its one of the office ones.
The police have said they don't know who downloaded it - its impossible to say - not that you'd know that from the Sun/Times reporting of it. Curiously enough they are the only two newspapers aggressively pursuing this....
This whole thing stinks to high heaven......sacked policemen seeking to bring down politicians.....
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Second, there has been a series of attacks on her across the media based on something she wrote about the black Conservative London Assembly member Shaun Bailey. In a pre-election blog post seven years ago, Dent Coad quoted some North Kensington constituents’ view of Bailey as a “token ghetto boy”. The phrase, without quotation marks, had been picked up as evidence of racism. Dent Coad has apologised for the remark, but is in no doubt that the timing of the story is part of a campaign to discredit her fact-finding work in the wake of Grenfell, a campaign she believes has gone on ever since the fire.
Really...it is as tin foil hatted as some of the stuff on her blog. She has gotten grief because she has written and drawn a number of distasteful stuff and the media in a phase where they are digging into all members dodgy behaviour from the past, be it knee touching, computers with adult material on it or drawing Tories hangings from trees.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
It isn't even established its HIS computer - its one of the office ones.
The police have said they don't know who downloaded it - its impossible to say - not that you'd know that from the Sun/Times reporting of it. Curiously enough they are the only two newspapers aggressively pursuing this....
This whole thing stinks to high heaven......sacked policemen seeking to bring down politicians.....
Bob Quick v Damian Green, I'm on Damian Green's side every time.
Bob Quick v Mark Reckless, I'd be on the side of Mark Reckless every time.
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
The assumption (after the resignations of Sir Michael Fallon and Priti) was that Theresa wouldn't be able to survive losing Damian Green...
IMHO I would tend towards her surviving. The Tories don’t want to risk letting Corbyn in, and there’s no one better than May atm.
The question is really when rather than if in terms of May exit.
I will stay out of the next cabinet minister for the sack race. Too many candidates, plus a febrile atmosphere. I suspect that the value is on some of the longer odds ones for personal scandal, shorter odds for political differences.
Surely Phil will set out his stall this week, and the question then will be whether the secret police defenestrate him, or her.
Sacking Hammond now would be very risky. Nobody cares who is ID Secretary, MoD is important but not a household name.
But losing your chancellor and then perhaps your DPM would be a pretty disastrous turn of events I suspect.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Would it shock you? Would it shock Sean T?
Yes, it would shock even me.
Pornography allegedly found on Damian Green’s computer was so extreme it would have been illegal if found weeks later, it was claimed last night.
The computer was seized from the House of Commons in November, 2008, before the law on possessing extreme images was changed in January, 2009.....
....Under the Crime and Immigration Act, it was made illegal to possess images showing acts that threaten life, depict sex with animals or a corpse.
Images of this nature were outlawed after a four-year campaign by the parents of Jane Longhurst, who was murdered by Graham Coutts in 2003. Coutts had a strangulation fetish and watched violent images of simulated rapes and murders.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
Indeed. I long for the days of proper scandals, involving dominatrixes, satsumas, suspender belts, glass coffee tables, and so on.
A grown man having legal porn on is computer is not a sacking offense. A disciplinary offense on a work computer, perhaps.
Meanwhile Keith Vaz just sits there laughing his head off.
It would probably be a sackable offence in many jobs, but even if he did download it I would say that it is up to his constituents to say if they care, and hardly worth losing a cabinet post. If he downloaded it and lied about it, then he probably would deserve losing his post, though not his seat. If it was just an office computer and no one knows who downloaded it, then it is a non-story, since if it is not his personal computer, his denial of something not being on 'his' computer probably holds up. The 'extreme' nature of it is neither here nor there, since if it wasn't illegal it wasn't illegal end of, even if it was attempted to make it illegal since, or even actually made illegal.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
I thought he denied being informed / it being on his personal computer*? That still leaves the possibly that it was somebody in his office, but not him. And then both the plod and he both made factually accurate claims.
* I can't remember the actual phrasing, but I remember it being carefully worded.
I pointed out at the time the potential problem might be that his immediate spinning the attack onto Quick.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
I thought he denied being informed / it being on his personal computer*? That still leaves the possibly that it was somebody in his office, but not him. And then both the plod and he both made factually accurate claims.
* I can't remember the actual phrasing, but I remember it being carefully worded.
I pointed out at the time the potential problem might be that his immediate spinning the attack onto Quick.
In Green's defence, I can understand why he went to attack Bob Quick.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
Indeed. I long for the days of proper scandals, involving dominatrixes, satsumas, suspender belts, glass coffee tables, and so on.
A grown man having legal porn on is computer is not a sacking offense. A disciplinary offense on a work computer, perhaps.
Meanwhile Keith Vaz just sits there laughing his head off.
How is the commons authorities investigation into Keith Vaz still going after 12 months...still trying to track down the mysterious washing machine salesman? It was an open and shut case washing machine door.
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Would it shock you? Would it shock Sean T?
Section 63(7) lists a number of extreme acts including:
a) An act which threatens a person's life; this is not defined in the Act and therefore should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning. The Ministry of Justice note of " Further information on the new offence of Possession of Extreme Pornographic Images" at paragraph 11 gives examples of life threatening acts.
b) An act which results in or is likely to result in serious injury to a person's anus, breast or genitals; this could include the insertion of sharp objects (although in some circumstances this can be done in a way that is not likely to result in serious injury) or the mutilation of breasts or genitals. It is likely to be difficult to prove that cases of 'fisting' involve images that show activity that is likely to result in serious injury so these cases need to be handled with particular care. Serious injury is not defined in the Act and should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning, being a question of fact for the District Judge or jury.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
Indeed. I long for the days of proper scandals, involving dominatrixes, satsumas, suspender belts, glass coffee tables, and so on.
A grown man having legal porn on is computer is not a sacking offense. A disciplinary offense on a work computer, perhaps.
Meanwhile Keith Vaz just sits there laughing his head off.
How is the commons authorities investigation into Keith Vaz still going after 12 months...still trying to track down the mysterious washing machine salesman? It was an open and shut case washing machine door case.
I know people who perform standards investigations, and I totally get why they can take months, but I cannot see any justification for them to take that bloody long.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Would it shock you? Would it shock Sean T?
Yes, it would shock even me.
Pornography allegedly found on Damian Green’s computer was so extreme it would have been illegal if found weeks later, it was claimed last night.
The computer was seized from the House of Commons in November, 2008, before the law on possessing extreme images was changed in January, 2009.....
....Under the Crime and Immigration Act, it was made illegal to possess images showing acts that threaten life, depict sex with animals or a corpse.
Images of this nature were outlawed after a four-year campaign by the parents of Jane Longhurst, who was murdered by Graham Coutts in 2003. Coutts had a strangulation fetish and watched violent images of simulated rapes and murders.
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Would it shock you? Would it shock Sean T?
Section 63(7) lists a number of extreme acts including:
a) An act which threatens a person's life; this is not defined in the Act and therefore should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning. The Ministry of Justice note of " Further information on the new offence of Possession of Extreme Pornographic Images" at paragraph 11 gives examples of life threatening acts.
b) An act which results in or is likely to result in serious injury to a person's anus, breast or genitals; this could include the insertion of sharp objects (although in some circumstances this can be done in a way that is not likely to result in serious injury) or the mutilation of breasts or genitals. It is likely to be difficult to prove that cases of 'fisting' involve images that show activity that is likely to result in serious injury so these cases need to be handled with particular care. Serious injury is not defined in the Act and should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning, being a question of fact for the District Judge or jury.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
I do not think it is only the porn, remember he has been accused of sexual harrassment by a female journalist and that was in the open before Quick got all political. The larger picture may be the problem for him
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Would it shock you? Would it shock Sean T?
Yes, it would shock even me.
Pornography allegedly found on Damian Green’s computer was so extreme it would have been illegal if found weeks later, it was claimed last night.
The computer was seized from the House of Commons in November, 2008, before the law on possessing extreme images was changed in January, 2009.....
....Under the Crime and Immigration Act, it was made illegal to possess images showing acts that threaten life, depict sex with animals or a corpse.
Images of this nature were outlawed after a four-year campaign by the parents of Jane Longhurst, who was murdered by Graham Coutts in 2003. Coutts had a strangulation fetish and watched violent images of simulated rapes and murders.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Would it shock you? Would it shock Sean T?
Yes, it would shock even me.
Pornography allegedly found on Damian Green’s computer was so extreme it would have been illegal if found weeks later, it was claimed last night.
But there wasn't a 'personal computer' there were 'office' ones and the Police say they don't know who downloaded it.....some very sloppy reporting going on......
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
Would it shock you? Would it shock Sean T?
Section 63(7) lists a number of extreme acts including:
a) An act which threatens a person's life; this is not defined in the Act and therefore should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning. The Ministry of Justice note of " Further information on the new offence of Possession of Extreme Pornographic Images" at paragraph 11 gives examples of life threatening acts.
b) An act which results in or is likely to result in serious injury to a person's anus, breast or genitals; this could include the insertion of sharp objects (although in some circumstances this can be done in a way that is not likely to result in serious injury) or the mutilation of breasts or genitals. It is likely to be difficult to prove that cases of 'fisting' involve images that show activity that is likely to result in serious injury so these cases need to be handled with particular care. Serious injury is not defined in the Act and should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning, being a question of fact for the District Judge or jury.
So rape fantasies (one of the most common female fetishes, by the way) are out, as would be a video of me getting my balls caught in the zip of my jeans.
Another example of a silly law like the psychoactive substances act, if you ask me.
The fact that the guy likes it rough should not be a bar to high office.
I don't think there's a man alive who would want his internet browsing history made public.
The gender pay gap is the least of their problems...
Lloyd Embley also admittedTrinity Mirror is set to reveal an “embarrassing” gender pay gap when it is forced to publish official figures, because senior positions at the newspaper group are dominated by men.
Sacking Green effectively gives the green light for the blackmail of ministers by police with a grudge. It might command a few sniggers, but it sets a dangerous precedent for fishing expeditions.
I remember we talked about this on here when the government passed the law. Some of the stuff they included was pointed out to be really rather stupid.
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
I remember we talked about this on here when the government passed the law. Some of the stuff they included was pointed out to be really rather stupid.
Yep, I remember it too.
Isn't Theresa going to make it even harder to visit porn websites shortly as well (you'll have to leave credit card and personal details, etc.)
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
Nope, the man's a complete tosser.
He and Sir Ian Blair are the primary reasons why the strong Tory relationship with the police broke down over the last decade or so.
Didn't the government try introducing some porn controls which were so basic they ran afoul of the Scunthorpe problem, in that it would flag files that merely had rude words within them like gamesexchange?
I remember we talked about this on here when the government passed the law. Some of the stuff they included was pointed out to be really rather stupid.
Yep, I remember it too.
Isn't Theresa going to make it even harder to visit porn websites shortly as well (you'll have to leave credit card and personal details, etc.)
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
Nope, the man's a complete tosser.
Are you suggesting that is how he found the porn on this computer?
I remember we talked about this on here when the government passed the law. Some of the stuff they included was pointed out to be really rather stupid.
Yep, I remember it too.
Isn't Theresa going to make it even harder to visit porn websites shortly as well (you'll have to leave credit card and personal details, etc.)
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
1) He originally denied it
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
I thought he denied being informed / it being on his personal computer*? That still leaves the possibly that it was somebody in his office, but not him. And then both the plod and he both made factually accurate claims.
I suspect that is the case. Unfortunately the press reporting has been much less precise - and if Green wasn't informed about it at the time, how was he supposed to know?
Now that Sir Paul Stephenson has confirmed he was told at the time Green's more precise response (he's unlikely to imply Stephenson is lying) is being dressed as 'backing down' - its shoddy reporting all round......got up by an incompetent sacked policeman who has lied about the Tories in the past and has had to retract and apologise....
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Its the sort of job where you never exactly going to have a good day....You do a good job and you have to wade through disgusting filth, do a bad job and your boss will appear to shout at you for missing filth.
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Does anyone remember the episode of The New Statesman where Alan B'Stard gets himself on the committee that reviews obscene images?
I imagine the people who go in for that kind of job probably enjoy their work.
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Does anyone remember the episode of The New Statesman where Alan B'Stard gets himself on the committee that reviews obscene images?
I imagine the people who go in for that kind of job probably enjoy their work.
Does anybody enjoy watching videos of beheadings etc? Because that is what these people will have to deal with in the current climate.
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Does anyone remember the episode of The New Statesman where Alan B'Stard gets himself on the committee that reviews obscene images?
I imagine the people who go in for that kind of job probably enjoy their work.
Does anybody enjoy watching videos of beheadings etc? Because that is what these people will have to deal with in the current climate.
Back in 2004 South African television accidentally broadcast the beheading of Ken Bigley.
The headline in one of the South African papers the next day was 'Heads set to roll after Bigley footage blunder'
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Does anyone remember the episode of The New Statesman where Alan B'Stard gets himself on the committee that reviews obscene images?
I imagine the people who go in for that kind of job probably enjoy their work.
Does anybody enjoy watching videos of beheadings etc? Because that is what these people will have to deal with in the current climate.
If you've ever been anywhere near 4chan, you'll know the answer to that is, unfortunately, yes.
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
Nope, the man's a complete tosser.
He and Sir Ian Blair are the primary reasons why the strong Tory relationship with the police broke down over the last decade or so.
I think the 20% cuts to the Police did not help.Especially after all they did for the Conservatives in the 80s.
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
She could ask Corbyn for his advice
He didn't lose Watson or Macdonnell.
That's a bit picky - there's no way they would leave, they'd have to be done up.
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Does anyone remember the episode of The New Statesman where Alan B'Stard gets himself on the committee that reviews obscene images?
I imagine the people who go in for that kind of job probably enjoy their work.
I doubt it, since they would not be particularly effective at efficiently removing it if they were stopping to appreciate it every time they come across some.
Granted, it's a comedy site, but I remember coming across a description of the job on Cracked
Mr. kle4, you may remember the Checkpoint edition in which a patch or suchlike for a game was banned/blocked in the UK because the executable file had the letter string 'sex' near the start (it was something like leagueoflegendsexecutable or suchlike).
Mr. kle4, you may remember the Checkpoint edition in which a patch or suchlike for a game was banned/blocked in the UK because the executable file had the letter string 'sex' near the start (it was something like leagueoflegendsexecutable or suchlike).
Clearly perverted stuff. That was certainly what got me thinking about it though.
Mr. Urquhart, I accidentally came across some beheading photos when searching for a BBC story I couldn't find again because their in-house search is a steaming pile of horseshit. So, I went to Twitter, typed in a few words I recalled from the headline, and near the top was a rather gruesome photo. Could've been worse, but still not great.
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
You mean TV and Movies have lied to me?!
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Does anyone remember the episode of The New Statesman where Alan B'Stard gets himself on the committee that reviews obscene images?
I imagine the people who go in for that kind of job probably enjoy their work.
Does anybody enjoy watching videos of beheadings etc? Because that is what these people will have to deal with in the current climate.
I don't doubt that there are such people but would they be a popular choice to do it?
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
Nope, the man's a complete tosser.
He and Sir Ian Blair are the primary reasons why the strong Tory relationship with the police broke down over the last decade or so.
I think the 20% cuts to the Police did not help.Especially after all they did for the Conservatives in the 80s.
The relationship deteriorated before the Tories were in government
1) Sir Ian Blair's pimping for Tony Blair over 90 days detention without charge, he went to brief the then Tory Shadow Cabinet and was destroyed by the likes of Dominic Grieve who asked Sir Ian Blair could cite how many examples of where the current 14 days was insufficient. He wasn't unable to do so, and left the Tories feeling they were the friends of terrorists.
2) The arrest of Damian Green, the heavy handedness of it, and Bob Quick's attacks.
In government.
3) The plebgate incident, as one Tory cabinet minister put it, 'If the police are prepared to fit up a cabinet minister what's to stop them fitting up a black kid in Brixton?'
Mr. kle4, you may remember the Checkpoint edition in which a patch or suchlike for a game was banned/blocked in the UK because the executable file had the letter string 'sex' near the start (it was something like leagueoflegendsexecutable or suchlike).
Wasn’t there a site which blocked posters from Penistone and Scunthorpe?
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
Nope, the man's a complete tosser.
He and Sir Ian Blair are the primary reasons why the strong Tory relationship with the police broke down over the last decade or so.
I think the 20% cuts to the Police did not help.Especially after all they did for the Conservatives in the 80s.
The relationship deteriorated before the Tories were in government
1) Sir Ian Blair's pimping for Tony Blair over 90 days detention without charge, he went to brief the then Tory Shadow Cabinet and was destroyed by the likes of Dominic Grieve who asked Sir Ian Blair could cite how many examples of where the current 14 days was insufficient. He wasn't unable to do so, and left the Tories feeling they were the friends of terrorists.
2) The arrest of Damian Quick, the heavy handedness of it, and Bob Quick's attacks.
In government.
3) The plebgate incident, as one Tory cabinet minister put it, 'If the police are prepared to fit up a cabinet minister what's to stop them fitting up a black kid in Brixton?'
The most troubling thing about plebgate was the willingness of multiple officers to outright lie in order to get a minister sacked, either pretending to be present when they were not, or provably misrepresenting what that minister said while calling for him to resign, as seen when audio was released of the meeting in question. That Mitchell may well have snapped at an officer and used the word pleb is pretty small fry in comparison.
Mr. kle4, you may remember the Checkpoint edition in which a patch or suchlike for a game was banned/blocked in the UK because the executable file had the letter string 'sex' near the start (it was something like leagueoflegendsexecutable or suchlike).
Wasn’t there a site which blocked posters from Penistone and Scunthorpe?
Supposed to be a classic search engine problem or email registration issue back in the day
Sacking Green effectively gives the green light for the blackmail of ministers by police with a grudge. It might command a few sniggers, but it sets a dangerous precedent for fishing expeditions.
It isn't only the porn (which sounds a bit absurd), he is dealing with other harrassment complaints which have gone quiet recently.
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
I cannot see a Prime Minister surviving the loss of two of her three most senior ministers, especially given Boris Johnson may well be out in weeks as well.
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
Nope, the man's a complete tosser.
He and Sir Ian Blair are the primary reasons why the strong Tory relationship with the police broke down over the last decade or so.
I think the 20% cuts to the Police did not help.Especially after all they did for the Conservatives in the 80s.
The relationship deteriorated before the Tories were in government
1) Sir Ian Blair's pimping for Tony Blair over 90 days detention without charge, he went to brief the then Tory Shadow Cabinet and was destroyed by the likes of Dominic Grieve who asked Sir Ian Blair could cite how many examples of where the current 14 days was insufficient. He wasn't unable to do so, and left the Tories feeling they were the friends of terrorists.
2) The arrest of Damian Quick, the heavy handedness of it, and Bob Quick's attacks.
In government.
3) The plebgate incident, as one Tory cabinet minister put it, 'If the police are prepared to fit up a cabinet minister what's to stop them fitting up a black kid in Brixton?'
It did but when I was working there , in the 80s you would not hear a word said against the conservatives by this decade it was totally different.May also was not flavour of the month.They could not believe a Tory government would treat them as they did.Even though I could see they needed to change their working practices .Starting at 18 able to retire at 48 after 30 years was generous.
Sacking Green effectively gives the green light for the blackmail of ministers by police with a grudge. It might command a few sniggers, but it sets a dangerous precedent for fishing expeditions.
It isn't only the porn (which sounds a bit absurd), he is dealing with other harrassment complaints which have gone quiet recently.
And yet the porn is obviously felt to be something that will fatally undermine him, since that's what is making the headlines right now.
I would say that given the known harrassment claims relating to Damian Green (that forced out Fallon), in addition to the possible lying about the porn, the 7/2 are very good odds.
The sheer level of unremitting cretinism that used to be limited to morons (ie governments of all stripes) believing the polygraph is an actual lie-detector has now expanded to include many areas of technology. It's alarming.
On polygraphs, they're now used (introduced by Labour, continued by the Coalition) to monitor paedophiles. Because a pretend lie-detector used on arguably the best liars in criminality (probably second to psychopaths, but still very good) is obviously a sensible use of technology that doesn't actually work.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
It's news because it is a taxpayer funded computer.
If porn were found on my work laptop, I would be sacked there and then.
Admittedly I work in a school and therefore special considerations apply. But to my mind the principle is the same.
What bothers me far more about all this is that the police are making allegations about something that should have been reported and investigated by the Speaker's Office at the time as a misuse of parliamentary equipment, but wasn't. That's even more surprising given that it would have allowed them to extract some faint credit from what was ultimately a total debacle that made them look like a bunch of twats.
I'm therefore disposed to wonder - especially given the record of Quicke and Stephenson - how truthful they are being. Put it this way, if I was told there was evidence Quicke was inventing all this to make up for his embarrassment over the fiasco that was Green's arrest I would not find that terribly surprising.
Sacking Green effectively gives the green light for the blackmail of ministers by police with a grudge. It might command a few sniggers, but it sets a dangerous precedent for fishing expeditions.
It isn't only the porn (which sounds a bit absurd), he is dealing with other harrassment complaints which have gone quiet recently.
And yet the porn is obviously felt to be something that will fatally undermine him, since that's what is making the headlines right now.
The harrassment stuff has gone quiet because of the tragic suicide in Wales. Its not gone away.
The sheer level of unremitting cretinism that used to be limited to morons (ie governments of all stripes) believing the polygraph is an actual lie-detector has now expanded to include many areas of technology. It's alarming.
On polygraphs, they're now used (introduced by Labour, continued by the Coalition) to monitor paedophiles. Because a pretend lie-detector used on arguably the best liars in criminality (probably second to psychopaths, but still very good) is obviously a sensible use of technology that doesn't actually work.
Look, if the lie detectors are good enough for The Jeremy Kyle Show then it is good enough for our government.
Seems ridiculous that in 2017 someone has to resign because they have/had (legal) porn on their computer.. But I guess like with most resignations it's the denials/cover-up that will do the damage in the end?
(If Green does resign)
The real problem is that Cabinet feuding has reached the point that Cabinet members openly talk to journalists about whom they'd like to see sacked next - apart from May herself, Green, Hammond, Gove, Johnson and Davis have all been the target of Cabinet-sourced attacks in the last couple of weeks alone. It's a dysfunctional family, unsuitable to running the country even if nothing much of importance was happening.
Mr. Doethur, the time lag, though. Anything could happen in eight years. The police are either fitting up Green, or waiting for the opportunity to use information they learnt during an investigation to try and wreck his career.
Neither is acceptable.
Mr. Eagles, that's precisely the judgement I'd expect from a man who thinks Caesar was a better general than Hannibal.
Apologies if this is old news, but someone sent it to me today. More importantly, that someone was and remains a strong Remain supporter ... And there's absolutely no porn in it.
"Dave Davis is at the golf club returning his locker key when Mr Barnier the membership secretary sees him.
"Hello Mr Davis," says Mr Barnier. "I'm sorry to hear you are no longer renewing your club membership, if you would like to come to my office we can settle your account."
"I have settled my bar bill," says Mr Davis.
"Ah yes Mr Davis," says Mr Barnier, "but there are other matters that need settlement."
In Mr Barnier's office Mr Davis explains that he has settled his bar bill so wonders what else he can possibly owe the Golf Club? "Well Mr Davis," begins Mr Barnier. "You did agree to buy one of our Club Jackets."
"Yes," agrees Mr Davis. "I did agree to buy a jacket but I haven't received it yet. As soon as you supply the jacket I will send you a cheque for the full amount."
"That will not be possible," explains Mr Barnier. "As you are no longer a club member you will not be entitled to buy one of our jackets!"
"But you still want me to pay for it," exclaims Mr Davis.
"Yes," says Mr Barnier. "That will be £500 for the jacket. There is also your bar bill."
"But I've already settled my bar bill." says Mr Davis.
"Yes," says Mr Barnier, "but as you can appreciate, we need to place our orders from the Brewery in advance to ensure our bar is properly stocked." "You regularly used to spend at least £50 a week in the bar so we have placed orders with the brewery accordingly for the coming year." "You therefore owe us £2600 for the year"
"Will you still allow me to have these drinks?" asks Mr Davis. "No of course not Mr Davis. You are no longer a club member!" says Mr Barnier.
"Next is your restaurant bill," continues Mr Barnier. "In the same manner we have to make arrangements in advance with our catering suppliers. Your average restaurant bill was in the order of £300 a month, so we'll require payment of £3600 for the next year."
"I don't suppose you'll be letting me have these meals either?" asks Mr Davis.
"No, of course not," says an irritated Mr Barnier "You are no longer a club member!"
"Then of course," Mr Barnier continues, "there are repairs to the clubhouse roof."
"Clubhouse roof,” exclaims Mr Davis. "What's that got to do with me?"
"Well it still needs to be repaired and the builders are coming in next week, your share of the bill is £2000."
"I see," says Mr Davis, "anything else?"
"Now you mention it" says Mr Barnier, "there is Fred the Barman's pension. We would like you to pay £5 a week towards Fred's pension when he retires next month. He's not well you know so I doubt we'll need to ask you for payment for longer than about five years, so £1300 should do it. This brings your total bill to £10,000," says Mr Barnier. "Let me get this straight," says Mr Davis. "You want me to pay £500 for a jacket you won't let me have, £2600 for beverages you won't let me drink and £3600 for food you won't let me eat, all under a roof I won't be allowed under and not served by a bloke who's going to retire next month!"
"Yes, it's all perfectly clear and quite reasonable," says Mr Barnier.
Now we understand what Brexit is all about."
If even the Remainers think this is funny, the EU isn't making many friends in the UK.
Why is it even news if legal porn was on someone's computer?
It's news because it is a taxpayer funded computer.
If porn were found on my work laptop, I would be sacked there and then.
Admittedly I work in a school and therefore special considerations apply. But to my mind the principle is the same.
What bothers me far more about all this is that the police are making allegations about something that should have been reported and investigated by the Speaker's Office at the time as a misuse of parliamentary equipment, but wasn't. That's even more surprising given that it would have allowed them to extract some faint credit from what was ultimately a total debacle that made them look like a bunch of twats.
I'm therefore disposed to wonder - especially given the record of Quicke and Stephenson - how truthful they are being. Put it this way, if I was told there was evidence Quicke was inventing all this to make up for his embarrassment over the fiasco that was Green's arrest I would not find that terribly surprising.
When Senior Officers have to investigate and politicians get involved always difficult.Look how John Stalker went through the mill after looking at the so called shoot to kill policy in NI.Easy for members of political parties as on here to jump on the investigation team.However very rarely are we in full knowledge of the facts.
The sheer level of unremitting cretinism that used to be limited to morons (ie governments of all stripes) believing the polygraph is an actual lie-detector has now expanded to include many areas of technology. It's alarming.
On polygraphs, they're now used (introduced by Labour, continued by the Coalition) to monitor paedophiles. Because a pretend lie-detector used on arguably the best liars in criminality (probably second to psychopaths, but still very good) is obviously a sensible use of technology that doesn't actually work.
I don't quite understand why people believe in lie detectors - you see them all the time in american TV shows and movies, usually to demonstrate that someone can beat the test*, or they emphasize it is not reliable and cannot be used in court even if they don't later prove the suspect (or hero) is a liar, and when these are the same programmes where DNA tests of every piece of evidence at a crime scene are ready in about 2 hours, and computers are magic, that surely indicates people know polygraphs are unreliable since the shows know they cannot make people accept them as reliable, like they can in magical hacking.
*heck 'I'll take a polygraph' is a sure sign in some of these cop shows that someone is definitely a psychopath, since they know they'll beat it.
One wonders why Theresa May would want a man by her side who when he was in charge of the Tory party was its only leader to preside over a second landslide general election defeat in its history, and its second biggest defeat since Napoleon.
Apologies if this is old news, but someone sent it to me today. More importantly, that someone was and remains a strong Remain supporter ... And there's absolutely no porn in it.
Sure, but clearly the same people who realise the audiences of procedural cop shows (of which I am one) are willing to accept magic computer hacking and instantaneous forensic testing, know that they won't accept at face value a polygraph. They know the dumbest people in the audience are not willing to suspend their disbelief for that. That says a lot to me.
Comments
Good afternoon, everyone.
(If Green does resign)
I’ve put a bit on him to go next at 3.35. It looks like TM doesn’t want a big reshuffle.
I will stay out of the next cabinet minister for the sack race. Too many candidates, plus a febrile atmosphere. I suspect that the value is on some of the longer odds ones for personal scandal, shorter odds for political differences.
Surely Phil will set out his stall this week, and the question then will be whether the secret police defenestrate him, or her.
I assume he’d do it if told TM needs him and it is in the national interest.
The police have said they don't know who downloaded it - its impossible to say - not that you'd know that from the Sun/Times reporting of it. Curiously enough they are the only two newspapers aggressively pursuing this....
This whole thing stinks to high heaven......sacked policemen seeking to bring down politicians.....
A grown man having legal porn on is computer is not a sacking offense. A disciplinary offense on a work computer, perhaps.
Meanwhile Keith Vaz just sits there laughing his head off.
2) It is reported that the porn was viewed on a near daily basis
3) This is me reading between the lines, but I suspect the porn that was legal then but illegal a few weeks later would not be the sort of porn your average person watches. I think is the sort that would shock even the most liberal minded person.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/nov/19/emma-dent-coad-grenfell-interview-shaun-bailey
Really...it is as tin foil hatted as some of the stuff on her blog. She has gotten grief because she has written and drawn a number of distasteful stuff and the media in a phase where they are digging into all members dodgy behaviour from the past, be it knee touching, computers with adult material on it or drawing Tories hangings from trees.
Bob Quick v Mark Reckless, I'd be on the side of Mark Reckless every time.
Nobody cares who is ID Secretary, MoD is important but not a household name.
But losing your chancellor and then perhaps your DPM would be a pretty disastrous turn of events I suspect.
Pornography allegedly found on Damian Green’s computer was so extreme it would have been illegal if found weeks later, it was claimed last night.
The computer was seized from the House of Commons in November, 2008, before the law on possessing extreme images was changed in January, 2009.....
....Under the Crime and Immigration Act, it was made illegal to possess images showing acts that threaten life, depict sex with animals or a corpse.
Images of this nature were outlawed after a four-year campaign by the parents of Jane Longhurst, who was murdered by Graham Coutts in 2003. Coutts had a strangulation fetish and watched violent images of simulated rapes and murders.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/18/porn-on-damian-greens-computer-was-so-extreme-it-would-now-be-illegal-7088958/
* I can't remember the actual phrasing, but I remember it being carefully worded.
I pointed out at the time the potential problem might be that his immediate spinning the attack onto Quick.
casewashing machine door.a) An act which threatens a person's life; this is not defined in the Act and therefore should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning. The Ministry of Justice note of " Further information on the new offence of Possession of Extreme Pornographic Images" at paragraph 11 gives examples of life threatening acts.
b) An act which results in or is likely to result in serious injury to a person's anus, breast or genitals; this could include the insertion of sharp objects (although in some circumstances this can be done in a way that is not likely to result in serious injury) or the mutilation of breasts or genitals. It is likely to be difficult to prove that cases of 'fisting' involve images that show activity that is likely to result in serious injury so these cases need to be handled with particular care. Serious injury is not defined in the Act and should be given its ordinary dictionary meaning, being a question of fact for the District Judge or jury.
http://www.cps.gov.uk/legal/d_to_g/extreme_pornography/#an04
Even if she loses him, and Hammond in a shuffle, I do not see the conservative party and the DUP opening the door for a GE as long as Corbyn is a possibility
Another example of a silly law like the psychoactive substances act, if you ask me.
The fact that the guy likes it rough should not be a bar to high office.
I don't think there's a man alive who would want his internet browsing history made public.
Lloyd Embley also admittedTrinity Mirror is set to reveal an “embarrassing” gender pay gap when it is forced to publish official figures, because senior positions at the newspaper group are dominated by men.
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/nov/19/top-mirror-editor-warns-of-deeper-job-losses-if-express-deal-fails
It might command a few sniggers, but it sets a dangerous precedent for fishing expeditions.
I wanted to go visit www.politicalbetting.com but my google auto-suggest took me a famous porn website that also begins withs www.po
If Green is to go, Hammond is surely safe for now.
Hague to return briefly as Deputy PM would not be at all a bad idea though.
@TSE, your remark above - do I get the feeling you don't like Bob Not-Very-Quick much?
Isn't Theresa going to make it even harder to visit porn websites shortly as well (you'll have to leave credit card and personal details, etc.)
He and Sir Ian Blair are the primary reasons why the strong Tory relationship with the police broke down over the last decade or so.
It's depressing that I'm not especially technically astute but seem to be about a decade and a half ahead of people whose idiotic misunderstandings don't stop them actually being in charge of making policy.
I'm reminded of Yvette Cooper blathering about algorithms and there 'must be a way' to automatically remove extremist content. Because algorithms are magic.
Now that Sir Paul Stephenson has confirmed he was told at the time Green's more precise response (he's unlikely to imply Stephenson is lying) is being dressed as 'backing down' - its shoddy reporting all round......got up by an incompetent sacked policeman who has lied about the Tories in the past and has had to retract and apologise....
Mother wants to see the back of Susan Calman (She hasn't been keen from the start but her "Paso Doble" was the final straw I think...)
I pity the poor people who have had the job of flagging illegal content though, it sounds soul destroying.
Starts about 40 secs in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dtNlEh3nW0
I imagine the people who go in for that kind of job probably enjoy their work.
The headline in one of the South African papers the next day was 'Heads set to roll after Bigley footage blunder'
Granted, it's a comedy site, but I remember coming across a description of the job on Cracked
http://www.cracked.com/article_24834_5-ridiculously-awful-jobs-you-didnt-know-existed.html
1) Sir Ian Blair's pimping for Tony Blair over 90 days detention without charge, he went to brief the then Tory Shadow Cabinet and was destroyed by the likes of Dominic Grieve who asked Sir Ian Blair could cite how many examples of where the current 14 days was insufficient. He wasn't unable to do so, and left the Tories feeling they were the friends of terrorists.
2) The arrest of Damian Green, the heavy handedness of it, and Bob Quick's attacks.
In government.
3) The plebgate incident, as one Tory cabinet minister put it, 'If the police are prepared to fit up a cabinet minister what's to stop them fitting up a black kid in Brixton?'
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scunthorpe_problem
The sheer level of unremitting cretinism that used to be limited to morons (ie governments of all stripes) believing the polygraph is an actual lie-detector has now expanded to include many areas of technology. It's alarming.
On polygraphs, they're now used (introduced by Labour, continued by the Coalition) to monitor paedophiles. Because a pretend lie-detector used on arguably the best liars in criminality (probably second to psychopaths, but still very good) is obviously a sensible use of technology that doesn't actually work.
Admittedly I work in a school and therefore special considerations apply. But to my mind the principle is the same.
What bothers me far more about all this is that the police are making allegations about something that should have been reported and investigated by the Speaker's Office at the time as a misuse of parliamentary equipment, but wasn't. That's even more surprising given that it would have allowed them to extract some faint credit from what was ultimately a total debacle that made them look like a bunch of twats.
I'm therefore disposed to wonder - especially given the record of Quicke and Stephenson - how truthful they are being. Put it this way, if I was told there was evidence Quicke was inventing all this to make up for his embarrassment over the fiasco that was Green's arrest I would not find that terribly surprising.
Neither is acceptable.
Mr. Eagles, that's precisely the judgement I'd expect from a man who thinks Caesar was a better general than Hannibal.
"Dave Davis is at the golf club returning his locker key when Mr
Barnier the membership secretary sees him.
"Hello Mr Davis," says Mr Barnier. "I'm sorry to hear you are no
longer renewing your club membership, if you would like to come to my
office we can settle your account."
"I have settled my bar bill," says Mr Davis.
"Ah yes Mr Davis," says Mr Barnier, "but there are other matters that
need settlement."
In Mr Barnier's office Mr Davis explains that he has settled his bar
bill so wonders what else he can possibly owe the Golf Club? "Well Mr
Davis," begins Mr Barnier. "You did agree to buy one of our Club
Jackets."
"Yes," agrees Mr Davis. "I did agree to buy a jacket but I haven't
received it yet. As soon as you supply the jacket I will send you a
cheque for the full amount."
"That will not be possible," explains Mr Barnier. "As you are no longer
a club member you will not be entitled to buy one of our jackets!"
"But you still want me to pay for it," exclaims Mr Davis.
"Yes," says Mr Barnier. "That will be £500 for the jacket. There is
also your bar bill."
"But I've already settled my bar bill." says Mr Davis.
To be continued.
"Yes," says Mr Barnier, "but as you can appreciate, we need to place
our orders from the Brewery in advance to ensure our bar is properly
stocked." "You regularly used to spend at least £50 a week in the bar
so we have placed orders with the brewery accordingly for the coming
year." "You therefore owe us £2600 for the year"
"Will you still allow me to have these drinks?" asks Mr Davis. "No of
course not Mr Davis. You are no longer a club member!" says Mr
Barnier.
"Next is your restaurant bill," continues Mr Barnier. "In the same
manner we have to make arrangements in advance with our catering
suppliers. Your average restaurant bill was in the order of £300 a
month, so we'll require payment of £3600 for the next year."
"I don't suppose you'll be letting me have these meals either?" asks Mr Davis.
"No, of course not," says an irritated Mr Barnier "You are no longer a
club member!"
"Then of course," Mr Barnier continues, "there are repairs to the
clubhouse roof."
"Clubhouse roof,” exclaims Mr Davis. "What's that got to do with me?"
"Well it still needs to be repaired and the builders are coming in
next week, your share of the bill is £2000."
"I see," says Mr Davis, "anything else?"
"Now you mention it" says Mr Barnier, "there is Fred the Barman's
pension. We would like you to pay £5 a week towards Fred's pension
when he retires next month. He's not well you know so I doubt we'll
need to ask you for payment for longer than about five years, so £1300
should do it. This brings your total bill to £10,000," says Mr Barnier.
"Let me get this straight," says Mr Davis. "You want me to pay £500 for
a jacket you won't let me have, £2600 for beverages you won't let me
drink and £3600 for food you won't let me eat, all under a roof I
won't be allowed under and not served by a bloke who's going to retire
next month!"
"Yes, it's all perfectly clear and quite reasonable," says Mr Barnier.
Now we understand what Brexit is all about."
If even the Remainers think this is funny, the EU isn't making many friends in the UK.
*heck 'I'll take a polygraph' is a sure sign in some of these cop shows that someone is definitely a psychopath, since they know they'll beat it.