Except if we're on a Russian ship. Then the safest place is overboard... (View Post)

Wish me luck. I'm about to use a toilet that has never been used before, in a new room. I've asked if the local mayor is coming for an official ribbon-cutting, but apparently he was unavail… (View Post)

Incidentally, on presents: Mrs J and I decided years ago only to get each other trinkets for Christmas and birthdays; cheap little things. Instead, we buy each other things we need during the rest of… (View Post)

I have survived THE TOILET. It's actually a little sad, in a way: my parents are getting older, so they've converted the garage into a little granny flat for my mum if she gets more infirm.… (View Post)

Nah, he'd add; "And thy Christmas Dinner must be prepared by the womenfolk, with no help from the men, who shalt be retired to the withdrawing room for port and cigars whilst the women work… (View Post)